We're getting snow here today, and while reading the forecast I came across this:
THE SNOW IS STICKING TO THE GROUND...AND MOTORISTS SHOULD USE EXTRA CAUTION AS ROADS BECOME SLIGHT AND HAZARDOUS.Arkansas is a dangerous place to live when it's snowing. The roads just start shriveling away to nothing.
Please Continue to Hold
Last night I couldn't connect to the Internet here at the house, so I called our service provider. After pushing around 412 numbers, I finally got to the menu where it stated, "If you are unable to connect to your broadband Internet, please push 2." So I did. Then I received this message, "For troubleshooting tips, you may go to our website at..." Really? I can just go to your website and fix my non-existent Internet connection myself? Like, ohmigod. Why didn't I like totally think of that myself? Oh, that's right. BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING INTERNET CONNECTION, AND WITHOUT IT, IT'S REALLY HARD TO GET TO YOUR WEBSITE.
I Can't Believe He Doesn't Live in Arkansas
Sam Sanfillipo owns a funeral home in Madison, WI. So what Babs? What's so great about that? You are aware that people do really die in Madison, aren't you? Well, just hang on to your knickers and I'll tell you so what. This isn't your average funeral home. No siree, Bob. This one has dead squirrels. Dead squirrels that are posed in all manner of frivolity. There is a dead squirrel saloon, a dead squirrel fair and even a dead squirrel "Topless Girlie Show".
What would possess someone to do this? Well, Sam explained that it was for the bereaving children who come to funerals and are crying. I'm sorry your Grammy died, Timmy, but lookie here - Dead squirrels riding a ferris wheel! And those over there? Those are girl squirrels and they're missing their shirts. *Nudge. Nudge. Wink. Wink.* "Doesn't that make you forget all about the fact that you'll never see your Grams again? I have to agree, Sam. Nothing will take a kid's mind off death quite like showing them even more death. Especially when the death consists of burlesque rodents dressed in freakish attire posing on carnival rides.
Can you imagine what it would be like for some poor child who not only just had his Grandma die, but also his beloved pet squirrel, Skippy? I'll bet he'd need therapy or something.
The Bablatrice - who is going to be snowed in tomorrow. Yay!