I think this is so completely wicked awesome. I'll bet that bad boy's got a lot of rev. Wind 'er up, J Dawg. Isn't it cute how the robe flowing out behind him makes him look like he just hatched from a clam shell? Wait. That would make Jesus a bearded clam, and that's just too nasty even for me, so I won't say anything about that. But the golden crown of thorns? Exquisite. And by exquisite I mean, what the fuck? Does Jesus really want to be reminded of how much those thorns hurt? Why don't you just have a spear impaling his side? Which makes me wonder if the handlebars and foot pegs have spikes on them that poke into Jesus' piercings so he won't fall off the bike.
Eric then decided that since Motorcycle Jesus was so darn dandy, he went on to design...
Falling Off the Side of a Cliff Jesus. Or maybe it's a poorly designed tree, or maybe that crazy Jesus is try to climb a cross. Either way, I am so digggin' the form-fitting outfit he's sporting. By the way, Jesus, is that a carabiner in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
If cowboys make you shout, "Yeehaw!", then Yeehaw Jesus is perfect for you. I simply adore Jesus in chaps. The way they accentuate his very ample belt buckle is such a turn-on. But the shirt is a definite turn-off. Like way, way off. It just doesn't have enough sparkle to keep up with the crown.
Who can resist Homeless Jesus? I know I can't. But I'm not sure how much sympathy Jesus is going to garner from people while he's got that big ol' crown made of GOLD on his head. Sell that puppy on eBay, Jesus. You'll have all kinds of rappers and hoochie mamas bidding on that fine piece o' bling. Then you'll have oodles of money and you'll be able to buy a hand-painted, wooden sign, or even a custom-designed neon sign. Now that for sure would get you a food-paying job.