February 15, 2007

That Jesus Sho' Gets Around

Guess who's back? Back again. Shady's back. Tell a friend. No that's not right. It's not Eminem. It's Jesus! And that crazy son of you-know-who is back in a tree. That Jesus sho' loves his hardwoods. This Jesus tree is in Crystal City, TX.

Crystal City is renowned for spinach growing. Okay, renowned might be a bit of an overstatement, but they do grow 'em some spinach there. The article states that Popeye used to be the most recognizable figure in this spinach-crazy town, but not anymore. Popeye done got his ass kicked all over the place by J Dawg.

The fine leafy-greens people of Crystal City are swearing that they can see the crucifixion in the Y of this tree. I can see Jesus, but I don't think he's being crucified. I think JC is just pretending to be an air traffic controller. I've heard that's what he really wanted to do before his dad made him do the other thing.

Just for fun, and because I'm a total dork - I've made a map of where Jesus has been since we've been tracking him. I'll update it with each Jesus sighting and we can have our own little JC radar.

Magical Jesus Tour
Except for the one gig in Milwaukee, it seems Jesus really doesn't dig the northern two-thirds of the country.

Blog Explos!on Update

Did ya see that Fwig? I told you I was gonna steal it. 'Cause I'm a b!tch like that. Anyway, I received another email from the BlogExplos!on people, confirming that they received my email, and that I'd been issued a support ticket. I'll bet it's a golden ticket.

BlogExplosion.com support ticket reply. DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL. To update or view the status of your ticket please follow link at the bottom of this ticket.

Dear Rachel,

Your Support Ticket has been submitted to the BlogExplosion.com support. Please make a record of your ticket ID and ticket Key for future reference.


Thank you for using BlogExplosion.com support, you will receive an email notification when the ticket has been answered.

BlogExplosion.com Staff

Hmm...I'm beginning to think those BlogExplos!on people need to chill out a little bit. Seriously. They yell too much. It can't be good for their vocal chords or their blood pressure. But I'm getting the idea that they really DON'T WANT ME TO REPLY TO THIS E-MAIL.

Take Care,
The Bablatrice - Who might just have to REPLY TO THE EMAIL, and tell the BE people that I am merely Satan's puppet and cannot control what I do.


  1. At first, I couldn't see anything but a tree, but once you told me what I should be seeing, I could somewhat see it, but without prompting? Never in a million years. What am I doing wrong in life that I don't see Jesus every place I look? And why do I just shove potato chips in my mouth w/o first checking to see if God might be there? ;-)

    Also, I haven't read this yet, but have faith in him and thought you might enjoy this:


    Sorry, being lazy and don't feel like htmling.

  2. J Dawg must have some awful travel agent. Sheesh, I can plan a better cross country trip with all the backtracking. But then that kind flies in the face that "he's everywhere" now doesn't it.

  3. Kathleen - Hey, I can't see Jesus in anything, either. And I've been trying. My boss does have an image of a woman with big boobies in the grain of his desk. Not exactly Jesus, though.

    I loved the article. It's brilliant!

    Carla - I know it. Jesus must get jet lag alot with all that travel. But, I'll bet he's got tons of frequent flyer miles.

  4. I couldn't see Jesus but I'll keep staring :)

  5. Wow! I loves the Jesus tracking map! Especially the glowing red dots to signify Rudolph's nose. I always figured someone was outsourcing Santa's team in the off-season. Now it's obvious.

  6. Roopster - I'm pretty sure you have to be delusional to be able to see Jesus.

    Fwig - Glad you like it.

    I think you're right. I mean Jesus does have the Santa beard going for him. I wonder if he wears the boots. I'd like to see Jesus in the big, shiny black boots.

    Does that sound weird?

  7. Didn't he take them after he kicked Santa's ass on South Park? Or am I just making that up?

    Anyway, I saw a face in the carpet in the locker room today, but I don't think it was Jesus. Looked more to me like Captain Haddock. Maybe Captain Haddock was really Jesus. They both have beards, and ... Jesus! I might be on to something!

  8. Blistering barnacles! You may be right.