I'm going to apologize beforehand for the suckiness this post may display. I'm sick. I have IT. IT may be the flu. IT may be some strange disease that will cause me to grow extra appendages that glow in the dark. All I know is IT makes me feel like someone has beat me with a hammer. A big hammer. One that hurts. IT also causes my brain to malfunction.
God is a Pyromaniac
The very sweet Diana sent me an email with a story about a house fire. You can read about it here. It seems that god (I'm assuming it's the Christian god) has set fire to a house in Bardstown, KY that left 10 people dead. Avery Lewis (a random Bardstownite the paper elected to interview) stated, ''No matter how God calls them home, he calls only the best."
Wow!
I hope I'm somewhere at the bottom of god's "good people" list.
God also has set fire to one of the local churches right here in Fayetteville. Thomas brought me this picture of it. What does the sign say?
Oh. 
You're still standing.
Okay.
But your church is toast.
Oh well. At least god protected the cross on your church. I'm sure you can find a way to work that into some miraculous sign that the Big G totally has your back.
Church Sign O' the Week
"True freedom comes from obedience"
Oh my. Church sign guy is feelin' his BDSM freak this week. You like a little spanky with your bible reading, do ya? You naughty, naughty boy. I'll bet you're an avid reader of this website: Christian - BDSM. Uh huh. Get your kink on for Jesus, people.
Take Care,
The Bablatrice - who thinks a luminescent 3rd arm might be kinda cool.
Oh, they cited book of George chapter 19 verse 84:
ReplyDelete82.War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery. Ignorance is Strenght.
83.Thoughtcrime is death.
84.True freedom comes from obedience.
I can't wait for the news report that states it was an electrical fire. God certainly is busy playing arsonist, isn't he?
ReplyDeleteBible study group Wednesday night at the Flanders' - don't forget your ball gag, nipples clamps and paddles for the fellowship afterwards.
ReplyDeleteGuerreiro - You know your fundie Bible, don't you?
ReplyDeleteKathleen - God must be bored.
Sharna - NOT an image I want floating in my head.
For someone who is suffering from IT, you still came up with a good post. I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteDiana - Thanks. I think I am slowly exorcising IT out of my body. At least I've managed to stay vertical for most of the day.
ReplyDeleteBabs darling, you're illin'? That totally sucks. And your post totally did not suck, by the way. I had a lovely long giggle. Here's all I know about the surviving of IT disease - just on the off-chance there's one or more items you didn't already know:
ReplyDeleteBad: alcohol of any kind (I don't care what your gramps said about rum or brandy); caffiene (lay off the coffee. Tea's okay); going to work; and prayer (no one's listening).
Good: Pills of pretty much any kind. Whatever makes you feel better!; and sex (True I swear!)
Essential: Sleep; outrageous quantities of liquids (non alcoholic and non-caffienated of course!); Ice cream (the expensive kind - no skimping); and the most indulgent pampering by a doting partner. Be sure he tends to your every whim.
That is my prescription.
Dr. Fwig
Fwig - Well, I've managed to not do anything on your "bad" list. I've done one from the "good" and two from the "essential".
ReplyDeleteI'm a bad patient, but I do feel better.
My SIL asked me years ago if I thought God liked it when I swore (I'm a notorious pottymouth) and I said that I was pretty sure God was much too busy worrying about what was going on in the Middle East than whether or not Kathleen said the "F" word. She gasped her disapproval.
ReplyDeleteI had no clue he was busy setting fires to good people's homes.
Kathleen - I guess it's obvious that I'm a pottymouth, too.
ReplyDelete