Beaverpalooza!

Don't Say the V Word

When I read this article, I was hoping it was a gag. Or that maybe someone had hacked into the BBC website and posted it. But, I'm afraid it's true. The theater in Atlantic Beach, FL changed the name of The Vagina Monologues to The Hoohaa Monologues. Why, you ask, would the theater be pulling such shenanigans? It's because a woman complained and said that she was offended when her niece asked what a vagina was.

You're right, oh thou Offended Beehotch. Girls should never know the proper terminology for their pootypoos. In fact I would recommend that they don't know the correct names for any of their body parts. Ankles could be dinkums. Ears - gizmies. Elbows - floopityfloops. How dare society use medical terms for our naughty bits - the sick, sick bastards.

What if the play was named the The Quivering Mound of Love Pudding Monologues? Would that be offensive? How about The Monologues of Camp Coochie? The Kookoo Yummy Yum Monologues? The Stuffin' Muffin Speaks?

You know, if the play was, "The Huge, Hairy Cunt Monologues" I might let you get away with being offended, but vagina? Not on my watch, Missy. Not. on. my. watch.

Side note:
When my daughter was young, she referred to her nether regions as her "hoo". But, she still knew the proper terminology for it, "Mama, girls have a bagina. Boys have a peanuts."

Fuckin' close enough.

The Randy Post of the Week

Speaking of pussies, Randy Ross over at Teens-4-Christ, had this to say in a post where he is complaining that Bob Jones University isn't fundamentalist enough for him:

"They have completely discarded many standards of
modesty. In fact, they allow the women to wear pants."

Oh sweet mammy of god! Not the pants. Anything but the pants! Next thing you know they will be fornicating right there in the classrooms.

Here's a puzzler for you, Randy. Let's say two girls are climbing an open-mesh metal staircase. Girl A is wearing a King James version, god skirt. Girl B is wearing sinful, deviant, devil pants. If Creepy Carl is standing beneath the stairs, which girl will be more likely to give the little pervert a beaver shot? Hint: If you guess girl B, you're a great, big dumb dumb.

Hey! I guess that means Randy is a big ol' perv.

Take Care,
The Bablatrice - who thinks that Offended Beehotch's hoohaa probably needs a little more exposure.