February 7, 2007

Under the Needle While Drunk

It's a little known fact that when Jesus wasn't raising the dead, he was a drag queen with bad makeup whose stage name was Grace. I hear he did a killer rendition of Like a Virgin and always dedicated to his mumsy.

You know anytime this guy has company he has to show them his "watch how I can butt-fuck the monkey with my finger" trick.

The caption reads, "Outta that hole you wascally wabbit!" Probably funny if you're in the 4th grade. But you're not. I hope you weren't planning on ever getting laid again, because you just threw that out the window. Way to go, Fuddpucker. Oooh. Mama Mary is showing J Dawg a little lovin' by rubbin' the man nip. Does Jesus have on a bonnet or does he have some type of crustacean growing out of his head?

See, I've got this friend and he's got a monkey on his belly, but my belly button is way bigger than his. I mean, look at it. It echoes for chrissake. So I want a cow. But I want it to be a skanky cow. Put a bunch of flies around the butt, 'cause everyone knows that cow ass stinks. Besides, my belly button has a pretty bad case of the stanky funk, too.
Even the J-man is sporting a tat paying homage to his daddio. JC's like a total hottie in this picture. Seriously, I would so do him.

Take Care,


  1. Babs, how do you find these things??? What a bunch of skanky idiots, and those belly buttons are HIDEOUS!

  2. I figure it is a crustacean as well.. Either that, or it is the biggest nit i have ever seen.

  3. Diana - I don't know how I do it. This stuff just seems to find me, somehow. Like I'm a magnet for the weird stuff.

    Beepbeep - Sweet cheese on a cracker! Jesus has hair bugs.

  4. Carla9:45 PM

    But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
    I just don't think it'd understand
    And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
    He might blow up and kill this man

    Did you see that? He is capitalized, which means it has to be about the Lord which only means he's the dude with the hair bugs and tatoos. crikee

  5. Why's Jesus always a handsome fellow with long hair and a devilish beard? And blue eyes? I think it's the Mormons what gave him blue eyes. The real Jesus probably looked more like Yasser Arafat.

  6. Wow, yup, you labeled this post correctly. I have to agree with Diana that those are the nastiest belly buttons EVER! Shit, the first one was so bad I actually thought it was his anus.

  7. Thanks, Carla, now I have that song stuck in my head.

    Don - You never know what those crazy Mormons might come up with.

    Kathleen - I thought the same thing at first too, but then I realized that if it was his butt, he was crackless.