November 14, 2007

That Jesus and His Mama Sho' Get Around

I don't think this has happened before, and I don't think it will ever happen again. The planets must be aligned just so for something this wonderful to happen. Jesus AND his mother have shown up at the same place. The same place at the same time on the same pancake. That's right, I said pancake. A pancake made by none other than Marilyn Smith from Port St. Lucie, Florida. Now, Marilyn thought the images were only vaguely Jesus-esque. In fact, she said they could be Jesus or Moses, or hell, some other bible dude. But, Marilyn's daughter, Dana stated, "Being a very spiritual person, which I am, when I saw that, I said, 'Jesus and Mary!'"

That's odd, because when I saw it, I said "Double dong pancake!" But then again, being a very non-spiritual person, WHICH I AM, what would you expect?

Dana also stated that she thought this was a direct message from the big capital G guy. "I think the message is extremely clear that the world had better clean up its act."

Let’s see. Pancake. Clean up. Pancake. Clean up. Nope, I just can’t come to the conclusion that pancake = clean up. I mean, if Jesus and Mary were on a sponge or a Brillo pad, then I could see the clean up connection, but it's a pancake. I think the message is that you could be just a tad touched.

You know what's really cute about this whole story? Now, instead of using the severely profane expletive, "Holy cow!", Marilyn and Dana use the only mildly profane expletive, "Holy pancake!"

I am making an official declaration that from now on “Holy pancake” is my expletive of choice. Just think of what you can do with it:

  • Why don’t you just shove it up your holy pancake?

  • What smells like holy pancake in here?

  • You are one holy pancaking moron.

  • God holy pancake it!

  • Oh, go to holy pancake.

And, should you just become extremely pissed holy pancaked off, you could say, "What the holy pancake is holy pancaking wrong with you, you mother holy pancaking piece of holy pancake."

Take Care,
- who is wondering if anyone else is having trouble with the bitch known as Blogger



  2. Looks like Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth to me.

    Hhqktxco! (<---translation from alien: holy pancake)

  3. Holy pancake, Batman, that Babs is one funny woman.

    These people obviously do not like food that much. I make food, I eat it. I don't inspect it before inserting it into my holy pancakehole.

  4. Anonymous6:38 PM

    Im hungry now...

  5. So I hear the restaurant chain is now going to call itself IHOJAM.

  6. Well, that's just holy pancakin' sweet of you. Thanks, Don.

    Shedevil - I think you could be right. Those bitches are fighting about the syrup.

    Kathleen - Hahaha. I know, if you put a pancake in front of me it'll be gone without an inspection.

    Claudia - Mmmmmm. Pancakes.

    Ex - Well, I holy pancakin' love that name. IHOJAM - It has a nice ring to it. And all the waiters and waitresses could dress up like priests and nuns. And the water? Holy. The syrup? Sacrificial blood. The butter?

    I've got nothin' for the butter.

  7. I can hear you groaning already, but the butter would be Land O' Luke's.

    Sorry, but it's the truth. I don't make this holy pancake up.

  8. Anonymous11:39 PM

    OMG, LMAO... Love it!

  9. If you squint just right, they look more like Witchie Poo on the left and H.R. Puff'n'Stuff on the right.

  10. Ex - Oh, that's horrible. Which is the exact reason it makes it so great!

    Dave - I saw a skeleton on the left and Slimer from Ghostbusters on the right.

  11. Blogger needs to go holy pancake itself. Mother holy pancakers

  12. Holy Holy Pancakes! I've been away too long - what with Nanowrimo and being on suicide watch and all...

    I had holy pancakes for breakfast this morning. With blueberries and demon-posessed xsipjbvy syrup.

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  14. Fwig!!! Oh my god, you're back. You don't know how much I've missed you. Almost to the point of wasting away. I'm so glad you're back!