November 29, 2007

Fun at the Office

I hired our new administrative assistant today. I knew I was going to hire her when I told her that we could be pretty crude in the office and we used the word "fuck" a lot. She gasped, at which point I was a bit nervous, but then she said, "It's only my favorite word. I was beginning to think there weren't any women in Arkansas who cussed"

The only way I know how to explain the completely awesome miracle of finding someone who has the exact same favorite word as me, is that it was Jesus. Jesus helped her find our ad. He probably highlighted it with holy light or something. And then when I was flipping through the mound of resumes, Jesus whispered in my ear, "Interview her". I thought it was just tinnitus or maybe a bug or something, but I was so wrong. It was the J-Man.

That Jesus sure is fucking helpful sometimes.

Take Care,


  1. Now you can have a cuss-off at your office Christmas party.

  2. Anonymous1:14 AM

    hehehe I can imagine what that would sound like.

    Glad your search for a replacement is over.

  3. As the recent new hire in my company, I had to explain to my customer service person that I was a user of profanity...didn't phase her a bit, except today is her last day....fuck!

  4. I'm so happy that Jesus helped you out...and even happier that he sent that woman to you. I could totally work in your office as I'm kind of known for swearing a titch at the office.

  5. What happened to pancake?
    Congrats on filling the void. Wow, that sounded kinda dirty. TeeHee.

    dseek...and ye shall find.

  6. Anonymous3:06 PM

    Well, Glory Halleljuah! Praise the Lord and give me a big Amen.

    I said, give me a big, AHHHMENNN!

    Praise the blessed name of Jesus, he of the miraculous birth, horrific death and stupendous resurrection.

    And have a fucking good time while you're at it.

  7. Ex - We have cuss-offs everyday. I usually win.

    Claudia - Thanks. So am I!

    Carla - I'm so sorry she's leaving. I'll keep my fingers crossed that her replacement is a potty-mouth.

    Kat - I have no doubt you'd fit right in.

    Dave - Well holy pancake, I holy pancaking forgot. And my void...never mind. I can't say it. But, it did have something to do with getting holy pancaked.

    Chaplain - You know, for being recently de-converted, I am more than impressed by your ability at being a world-class blasphemer. It took me years before I was even remotely good at it. You're a quick study.

  8. Anonymous7:38 PM

    Babs - I'm not a quick study, I've just got some outstanding mentors!

  9. He works in mysterious fucking ways

  10. Jesus' penis appeared in my breakfast - in the form of a sausage. I'm gonna sell it on ebay. My Jesispenis.

    born on the fbyziu...