My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble. Well, he's not exactly my boyfriend, but he's darn-tootin' close. It's Jesus! And he's not only back, but the big J is back on a cross. You'd think that first go around would have cured him of crosses, but I guess JC likes him some pain. This miraculous vision showed up in Tignish, Prince Edward Island. Jesus looks scared in this picture, doesn't he? He's probably having a flashback or something. And either the J man has some rather large nostrils or HOLY MOLEY, he has one ginormous beauty mark.
Mama Mary Clowns Around
Mama Mary Clowns Around
Briceson Bryan of Austin, TX decided it would be way cool to steal a five-foot statue of the Virgin Mama from a cemetery. Then Briceson had an epiphany that led him to the conclusion that it would be like totally way cooler to paint the statue to make Big Mama look like a clown. Damn straight, Skippy. I don't know about you people, but every time I see a picture of the Virgin Mary my first thought is CLOWN! Oh my god! She's a CLOWN! And then I hear circus music and get a craving for cotton candy.
Holy S'mores, Batman!
Artist Cosimo Cavallaro is at it again, but this time instead of covering a hotel room in cheese, he's made a 6-foot chocolate Jesus. He's titled it, "My Sweet Lord", which I guess is okay.
But I think "Oh Sweet Jesus! Lawd a Mercy! It's Chocolaty Jesus Goodness! Somebody Get Me Some Raspberry Sauce and a Chisel, 'cause I'm Cuckoo For Cocoa Christ! would have been better, albeit a tad wordy.
"Christ Chocula" might have worked, too.
Anyway, the Catholic League has gotten its collective knickers in a knot and has boycotted the upcoming exhibit of Choco-Christ.
By the way, the Catholic League is a lot like the Justice League only none of the members are men of steel and none of them have invisible airplanes. I'm also pretty sure none of them are named "Aqua Man". I could be wrong about that, though.
Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Catholic, The Catholic League has denounced the chocolate Jesus as "hate speech". Wowie! It must be the slow season for the Catholic League if they're having to resort to boycotting a chocolate Jesus.
Seriously, Catholic League people- it's Jesus and he's made of chocolate. That's not hate. That's pure love. Pure chocolate love. I mean, Jesus and chocolate go together a heck of a lot better than chocolate and peanut butter and no one's calling Reese's Pieces "hate speech".
I think if Jesus were around, he'd love his chocolate self and probably try to bite off one of his toes. I know I would. Mmmm...chocolate Jesus toes.