March 20, 2007

Now With More Testosterone!

We're Man, Manly Men, We're Men in Tights

Church is for pussies. At least that's what Brad Stine says. Okay, so he didn't use the term "pussies", but I'll bet that's what he thinks. Brad is the founder of
GodMen. What in all fine hells is GodMen? Well, it's a Christian event that is for men only. Manly men, with testosterone oozing out of their eyes. No women are allowed, because we women folk aren't manly enough to be GodMen guys. Actually, I know a few women who could kick Brad's butt all to heck and back, but I guess that's not the point here. Brad seems to think that church is too girly for "real" men and invites these men to attend GodMen.

Brad aka Hercules claims that the Jesus that is being taught in churches is too wimpy. GodMen guys are all for the rough and tumble Jesus who threw out the money changers in the temple. The Jesus who said things like "fuckin-a" and "that's hardcore, dude" and was always asking everyone if they wanted to touch his "guns".

This is what the website has to say about it, "This is a place of worship where we engage in laughter for laughter's sake, music for the sake of music, and male-specific elements that let guys be guys."

Suhweet! Where else can you go and worship the big G AND scratch your crotch? Without anyone blinking an eye, even. In fact, crotch scratch and adjusting your dingus and dangles is probably encouraged at GodMen.

GodMen has a great tagline, too. "When faith gets dangerous". I don't want to disappoint all the GodMen goers out there, but I think the whole faith getting dangerous idea has been done before. Maybe like that little Inquisition thing. Or even a few hundred wars or so. But don't let that discourage you. On the upside, if you attend a GodMen event, you can witness men bending frying pans. With their bare hands. How macho-cool is that?

Yeah. Not very. Of course, I'm not a manly man with an enormous scrotum, so I may not be the best judge of such things.

He-Man Brad is supposed to be a comedian, but I watched all three news clips that are on his website and I didn't laugh once. Not even a snicker. I think it has something to do with him being a conservative comedian. Which I think is an oxymoron. Heavy on the moron.

Church Sign O' The Week

Thomas captured this lovely sign yesterday, and it may be the best one I've seen. And by best, I mean most asinine. By the way, don't you think asinine should be spelled assinine.

Oh thou clever church sign guy, are we really supposed to believe that the capital-G God not only chose to speak to you, but this is what he had to say?

I have a little trouble believing that, but it's okay. I'll play along.

How about next week you put this up, "My dad can beat up your dad - Jesus"

Take Care,


  1. Bwaaaahahahahahaaa! (wiping tears) "My Dad can beat up your dad!?" That's the funniest thing I've seen all day!

  2. What the farg? I don't even understand what this means. Who the hell is it directed at? I'm not in possession of an honor-student, am I? That was saved for me by God?

    What?? Am I the moron??

    I'd better take my... dxedmim

  3. I think the epitome of "when faith gets dangerous" would be that whole little Jonestown thing.
    "Hey Kool-Aid!"
    "Oh Yeaaaaaah! Die suckers!"

  4. I'm just so glad my church doesn't have a sign like that, because I would be mortified if someone I like put up something like that, because I'd have to laugh at them.

    But wait, is Brad calling himself a God which GodMan kind of implies, no? Hmm, doesn't the Big G frown on that?

    Okay, I had to stop watching and reading because I was getting the heebie-jeebies.

  5. Godmen looks fun. I can speak in open frankness and maturity in a safe environment with my tribe, a band of brothers whose dangerous faith will totally contradict everything I have to say about the God-shaped hole in my head. And explore pornography and other stuff. Sounds like ... idylz.

  6. ..."reaching for a more forceful, rugged expressions of their faith"
    Hmm I see a lot of chest beating Caveman like behavior, where all sensible decorum is thrown out the window. The weird evolution of religion continues. shudder

  7. Makes you almost long for that "men beating on drums in the wilderness" crap.

  8. Anonymous10:35 PM

    hehehe"My dad can beat up your dad" WAS used somewhere I bet.

  9. Sharna - More than happy to provide the laugh.

    Fwig - Once upon a time down here in the good ol' US of A, schools decided to start passing out bumper stickers to parents of students who had made the honor roll. They read, "My child is an honor student at Blah blah blah school." Then, someone who was tired of these bumper stickers made one that read, "My child beat up your honor student." And late as usual, church sign guy came up with his little sign. And they all lived happily ever after. The end.

    Dave - Wow! You just gave a totally awesome condensed version of Jonestown.

    Kathleen - Yep. God is a self-proclaimed GodMan. And I proclaim him CreepyMan.

    Don - I loved the tribe thing. I'm a man. I belong to a tribe. Beat the drums. Light the fire.

    Carla - Yep, because we really need to regress back to cavemen days. YUCK.

    Crazy - I'll bet it was too. That makes me happy and sad - all at the same time.

  10. My guess is that the manly church stuff is a reaction to the rampant gayness among preachers and priests, and/or the fear that maybe even the Big J, himself, was a little p-whipped around women. Christian Men, being devout homo- and gyno- phobes, need to have a place to go where the Institution of Masculinity won't be threatened. What could be better than an all-male enclave, at which praying can be the religious union of one man and a bunch of other men?