March 7, 2007

3-7-07

Reader Appreciation Day

I'll bet you guys didn't know it's Reader Appreciation Day, did you? Well, it may not be anywhere else, but it is here in Flumadiddle Land. Seriously, you don't know how much it means to me that you take the time to read my nonsense, and when you comment - well, it just blows me away. So, thank you from the bottom of my little heathenistic heart.

Talkin' With the Debil

Everyone, meet
Sue. Sue likes sparkly things, bad graphics and she loves making web pages about Satan, Hell and Jesus. In fact, she has over 800 web pages about that magical trio. She sure loves her some Jesus. Almost as much as she enjoys telling everyone how they're going to end up all crispy while their burning in the Lake o' Fire. Sue is convinced that Satan is trying to ruin her ministry, and this is what she had this to say about it:

Satan has tried lightning, bullets, a poisonous snake, confusion in the list, backbiting, lying, and turning people away from helping the ministry

So, let me get this straight. Sue has had Satan zap her with a lightning bolt, shoot at her and sic a poisonous snake on her? Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Never, ever piss off the devil. He obviously holds a grudge.

But...confusion in the list? I thought I knew most of the Christian lingo, but I'm completely lost with this one. Does anyone have any idea what this means?

Sue has also had a conversation with Lucifer, via some poor possessed woman named Sam. And to take it to a whole new level of freaky, this conversation appears to have occurred in an instant message. Satan is "LowLife" and Sue is "RunsWithTheWind3". I really think Satan can come up with a better screen name than LowLife. Pyromaniac666 would be a good one. You can read the entire, captivating conversation
here, but I've picked a few of the tastier tidbits from Sue's rap session with Beelzebub.

LowLife: no your bible is wrong.. i win.. i am god
RunsWithTheWind3: DREAM ON FOR AN ETERNITY IN HELL FIRE SCUM BAG

LowLife: i am messiah
RunsWithTheWind3: I REBUKE YOU IN JESUS NAME. YOU WERE PUT DOWN 2,000 YEARS AGO
LowLife: shut up
Shut up? Way to go all 5th grade on her ass, Beelz. Why didn't you just do the "I know you are, but what am I?" bit or "I am rubber, you are glue..."
LowLife: you mother fucker
RunsWithTheWind3: SWEARING SHOWS YOUR TRUE COLORS SATAN
Your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow. A dark, hellish, potty-mouthed rainbow. Wash his mouth out with soap, Sue. That'll teach 'im.
RunsWithTheWind3 : YOU SHALL NEVER HAVE ME
LowLife: call my name.. say it bitch

Oh my. I think someone just took a left turn into Kinkyville.

The good news is, Sue totally spanked Satan in this little debate. It ended with Satan saying this:

LowLife: nnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooooo

Poor Satan. His debating skills are obviously lacking. I seriously think he would have done much better had he interjected an LOL or even a ROFLMAO.

Take Care,
Babs - who is sure Sue will be featured again.

9 comments:

  1. I clicked on Sue's link "This Blood's For You" and saw this:

    Prophecy Report

    There will be an attack on a country overseas in less then a week, with over 4 million killed in two weeks time, and most will not know Jesus at all. Jesus told me this on 8/2/05. As I make this page I'm listening to Threats against America and Britain from those who say they will take us out. (Just for the record they can't. The US has an excellent anti-missle system and they would never reach our shores and it was the Knowledge from God that put it there to Protect us.)

    Jesus told us when He was Down here a little over 2,000 years ago that these things would be happening just before He Came in the Air to Call those who are faithful in Him up into the Air to Go With Him!


    I think Sue's got a screw loose.

    ReplyDelete
  2. He came in the air, huh? Do you think it was the mile-high club or somethin' else? At least if he went blind from whateveritwas, he could heal himself.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A few things stand out from my visit to Sue's website.
    1. I may never be the same.
    2. WAY too many fucking sparkles, they hurt my head
    3. "God's last call" is very far down on the list, which makes me think we still have time to order another round. Bar Keep!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was never exposed to this stuff until I started reading Flummadiddle.

    OMFG. Sue, I am glad I don't know anyone like you, it was painful reading some of the stuff on your site.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Diana - I think Sue has more than one screw loose.

    Sharna - You're so bad.

    Carla - I know. Sparkle overload. And according to Sue we're 97% of the way to Jesus' return. I think we can drink a lot in the remaining 3%

    Crazy - You are a very, very fortunate woman to have never been exposed to this stuff. I may have to move next door to you. It sound like you live in heaven.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like to think so. Except next month my sister is moving across the hall from me. I may have to move.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My brother is Born Again and he seems to believe that the end is near - something about some guy being the TRUE Antichrist has shown up and blah blah blah. Oh, sorry, I was channeling Iggy there.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kathleen, I live in a community like that - chock full of varying degrees of religious fundamentalism. There are only 1200 people in the entire town, and 10 churches, covering everything from the dress-wearing, procreating, covered-hair growing gospelites, to 4 variants of the Baptists, 1 CoC, 2 Methodist a couple of independents and a partridge in a pear tree. One must tread lightly in such a place. I just smile politely and go about my heathenous business.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Front page headline on this week's local rag: (I wish I were making this up...) "Mission Outdoors Introduces Kids to Jesus through Nature."Then in the photo spread there are 3 pictures of kids on horseback and 2 pictures of kids discharging firearms.

    Did I mention that of its usual 8 pages or so there are always at least 3 pages of the paper dedicated to religion and 2 to sports? Welcome to rural Texas, honey.

    ReplyDelete