I'll bet you guys didn't know it's Reader Appreciation Day, did you? Well, it may not be anywhere else, but it is here in Flumadiddle Land. Seriously, you don't know how much it means to me that you take the time to read my nonsense, and when you comment - well, it just blows me away. So, thank you from the bottom of my little heathenistic heart.
Talkin' With the Debil
Everyone, meet Sue. Sue likes sparkly things, bad graphics and she loves making web pages about Satan, Hell and Jesus. In fact, she has over 800 web pages about that magical trio. She sure loves her some Jesus. Almost as much as she enjoys telling everyone how they're going to end up all crispy while their burning in the Lake o' Fire. Sue is convinced that Satan is trying to ruin her ministry, and this is what she had this to say about it:
So, let me get this straight. Sue has had Satan zap her with a lightning bolt, shoot at her and sic a poisonous snake on her? Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Never, ever piss off the devil. He obviously holds a grudge.
Satan has tried lightning, bullets, a poisonous snake, confusion in the list, backbiting, lying, and turning people away from helping the ministry
But...confusion in the list? I thought I knew most of the Christian lingo, but I'm completely lost with this one. Does anyone have any idea what this means?
Sue has also had a conversation with Lucifer, via some poor possessed woman named Sam. And to take it to a whole new level of freaky, this conversation appears to have occurred in an instant message. Satan is "LowLife" and Sue is "RunsWithTheWind3". I really think Satan can come up with a better screen name than LowLife. Pyromaniac666 would be a good one. You can read the entire, captivating conversation here, but I've picked a few of the tastier tidbits from Sue's rap session with Beelzebub.
LowLife: no your bible is wrong.. i win.. i am godShut up? Way to go all 5th grade on her ass, Beelz. Why didn't you just do the "I know you are, but what am I?" bit or "I am rubber, you are glue..."
RunsWithTheWind3: DREAM ON FOR AN ETERNITY IN HELL FIRE SCUM BAG
LowLife: i am messiah
RunsWithTheWind3: I REBUKE YOU IN JESUS NAME. YOU WERE PUT DOWN 2,000 YEARS AGO
LowLife: shut up
LowLife: you mother fuckerYour true colors are beautiful like a rainbow. A dark, hellish, potty-mouthed rainbow. Wash his mouth out with soap, Sue. That'll teach 'im.
RunsWithTheWind3: SWEARING SHOWS YOUR TRUE COLORS SATAN
RunsWithTheWind3 : YOU SHALL NEVER HAVE ME
LowLife: call my name.. say it bitch
Oh my. I think someone just took a left turn into Kinkyville.
The good news is, Sue totally spanked Satan in this little debate. It ended with Satan saying this:
Poor Satan. His debating skills are obviously lacking. I seriously think he would have done much better had he interjected an LOL or even a ROFLMAO.
Babs - who is sure Sue will be featured again.