Jesus is back and that bad boy's burning down houses again. The roof. The roof. The roof is on fire. But no worries about that silly roof, because even though Christine York had her house burn to the ground - she's managed to find miracles in the middle of destruction. I think maybe Christie's just a little abnormally optimistic. The first miracle is that the son-of-you-know-who appeared in a charred section of wallpaper.
Christie, lambchop, are you sure that's Jesus on your wallpaper? Because I think it looks way more like Marilyn Monroe than it does the J-Man. Unless there's some picture of Jesus wearing a fur coat that I've missed out on. Oh, wait a minute. Maybe Jesus just borrowed the coat from Marilyn. I'll bet that's what it is, because we all know that Jesus was a crossdresser. Or maybe in the afterlife you're able to join bodies with someone else. So maybe Jesus and Marilyn are all smooshed together.
But Jesus Monroe showing up in the wallpaper wasn't the only miracle to occur in the conflagration. No way. No how. Jesus also performed another miracle by saving a rosary and a virgin Mary figurine from being totally destroyed in the fire.
Dear Jesus H. Christ,
Babs here. I just wanted to let you know that if you ever feel the need to send me a sign to reassure me that I have the strength to get through shitty - sorry - poopy times, please don't feel as though you need to resort to burning down my house. In fact, I'm saavy enough that a simple note from you will suffice, okay?
Hugs and Kisses and Amen.
PS - Tell your dad that I'm still pissed about the E-Z
Bake oven. He'll know what I mean.
The Bablatrice - who doesn't really do so well with the praying thing.