March 19, 2007

Now You're Singin' With a Swing

I've noticed something strange that occurs to me in the morning. Here's how my morning ritual plays out. I hear the alarm, sing the first four bars of the Hallelujah Chorus and then leap out of bed and pirouette three times. No. That's not right. I hear the alarm, cuss, hit the snooze and sleep for 9 more minutes. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. At least 4 times. But when I do finally drag myself out from the pure snugly goodness of a warm husband and fluffy comforter, I realize that I have a song stuck in my head. I don't know why this happens. I don't use music to wake up to, so I know it's not that I'm just hearing the song. I use the annoying WONK WONK WONK sound. That's much more pleasant to wake up to.

Anyway, the last week of songs went a little like this:
  • Monday - Alone Again, Naturally
  • Tuesday - Lady Marmalade
  • Wednesday - Don't Cry for Me, Argentina
  • Thursday - The F.U.N. Song (from Spongebob)
  • Friday - Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen
  • Saturday - When We All Get to Heaven
  • Sunday - Hey, what the fuck? No song.

And today, it was Tragedy. Which turned out to be an omen. Along with the TWO smooshed bunnies I saw on the road. Cute, little brown bunnies with fluffy white tails. I thought then that maybe I should have stayed in bed. I should have. I mean, the Bee Gees AND bunnies who have gone to meet their bunny maker, all before 8 am? Today was unpleasant. No fun was to be had, and I can usually find fun just about anywhere. I looked for fun under my desk. No luck. Maybe the closet? Nope. I even looked in the bathroom, but no fun there, either. I even thought that sticking my head in the copier and then slamming the cover down on my head would find me a whole bucket of fun. I was incorrect with that assumption.

Let me put it this way. Today was like sitting on a very crowded, warm bus. And the person who plops down beside you hasn't bathed in about 3 weeks. And they proceed to emit noxious gasses from various orifices of their body, all while eating a burrito and enumerating the most intimate details concerning their toenail fungus between bites. Meanwhile, you're trying your best to evade their unique aroma, but it permeates your hair, clothes and eyebrows. So for the rest of the day you have to go around smelling like funky bus person.

That was my day. How was yours?

Take Care,


  1. Ooooh Flummy honey, what you're describing is called "ear worms" or less commonly, "song worms." Since they are highly contagious, the best way to get rid of them is to give them to someone else, via singing the offending song aloud in the presence of someone else. -Either that, or pick another song that you like better and work on getting that one embedded in your cortex. I wouldn't know how to act if my brain didn't serve as my iPod when I can't be wired in.

    The aliens say: ayaye - for once they agree with me!

  2. Anonymous10:13 AM

    awww no way!! bunnies smooshed :( I see crows and rats smooshed on the road. And once I saw a chicken. I didn't feel sad about it at all. A cat, dog or bunny would have made my bile churn.

    Only thing I have in my head when I wake is "Morning already? I just laid down!" Every morning.

  3. I was running late this morning so I hit the very first light I come to (five feet from my house), ignored the no turn on red sign since it's utterly ridiculous since not a sole was in sight. I then got stopped by the next light about a block down. The next light is about 30 feet from the previous light and yup, I got stopped by that one too. The 4th light I never seem to catch red (go, me, but now will since I mentioned it), the 5th light, I've learned how to miss by driving 35 mph (when the speed limit is 40). No dead bunnies, but most bunnies here are smart enough to stay in their bunkers all toasty warm as it was 22F this morning. I feel like not being here as I continue reading warranty claims and not caring.

  4. Royce4:13 PM

    I read a sci-fi story years ago tht dealt with a murder needing to have something in his head when he committed murder so the psychic cops wouldn't be able to read his mind filled with song babble. The thing he recited endlessly was as follows:

    Four sir, three sir, two sir, one,
    Tension, apprehension and dissension have begun.

    Try it, it will drive you NUTS.

  5. Sharna - Well, the good news is, usually after about 10 minutes, the song is gone. But, most of the time I have some kind of song in my head. Thankfully, only the minority of them are completely annoying.

    Crazy - I know. It was sad. I rarely see smooshed bunnies. A variety of other things, but usually not bunnies.

    Katheleen - I have a stretch of road like that, too. I've figured out that if the first light is green, if I drive 38 mph, I can get all of them but the last one.

    Royce - I tried it. After the first two rounds of it, I was tripping over the words.

    Now I'm nuttier than I was to begin with. And that's pretty damn nutty.

  6. I stretched a 3 hour drive to Portland OR, into 5 or so hours by stopping every 45 miles. I get to do the same thing tomorrow when I head back north and go home, no squished anything on the roads though, hopefully.

  7. You got you a funky radio station down there in ol' Arkansaw. I'm thinking a wind-up cymbal monkey might be an improvement.