Jesus Loves Poly/Cotton Blends

Stuck on what to give to that hard-to-buy for person on your shopping list? Well, I have the perfect solution for you. T-shirts! Nobody can have too many t-shirts, and I've found some extra spiffy ones at christianshirts.net. When I was perusing all nine pages of their t-shirts, I noticed that the owner of this website had written some rather impressive descriptions underneath the shirts. So, here are the shirts I thought were the ones that Jesus his own self would pick out.

What T-shirt Person said: Take a stand against the drug culture with Christian clothing. This shirt will be sure to cause people to look twice.

What I say: I think it's super groovy that you're encouraging people to die by stoning. I have another idea for your anti-drug shirts. How about, "Get hammered like..." aw crap, I can't think of one person who's been hammered to death.

What t-shirt person said: Join the fight in the war against Christmas with these in your face Christmas shirts.

What I say: Darn tootin', Skippy. Get in there and fight against Christmas. Hold the phone. Is that really what you meant to say? And I don't know that this shirt really qualifies as "in your face". Now maybe if you'd put, I don't celebrate holiday, I celebrate Christmas, so take that and shove it up your turdhole, you godless, hell-bound, douche bag of an atheist, well, I think that's a bit more in your face.

What t-shirt person said: Tired of being pushed around by the homosexual agenda? Speak the truth against the day of silence with these anti-gay t-shirts. Let's not end up like the UK.

What I say: Oh, those gays and their agenda. I cannot tell you how many times I get stopped on the street by some lesbian who starts humping my leg and then thrusts her "agenda" right in my face. Then I have to go around all day smelling like lesbian agenda, and it's just not very pleasant. God have mercy on our souls if we ever end up like the UK. Every single person over there? Gay. They even have gay babies.

What T-shirt Person said: If you are straight, please come out of the closet against gay marriage. It's part of the slippery slope.

What I say: If you are gay, odds are you would never, ever, ever wear this t-shirt. I'm not sure what slippery slope you're referring to, but it sounds naughty.

What T-shirt Person said: Warning: This Christian shirt is only intended for those whose names are written in the book of life.

What I say: That's right, if you wear this shirt without your name being in the book you will be punished. The Queen of Hearts that's tied up to the carpet tacks on this shirt will come to life, and she will bitch slap you. Hard. Then she'll take the piece of notebook paper and deliver no less than 253 paper cuts to your lying tongue.



Have fun shopping!
Babs