December 19, 2006

Beep beep, beep beep, yeah!

A Conundrum, if You Will

The road I drive everyday to work is called a highway. Ha ha ha ha ha. Once you get to the part of this "highway" where there are housing additions on either side, traffic becomes congested. I always let people pull out in front of me. I'm just nice like that. The other day I was being all smug about my niceness and thought that maybe if I didn't let these people out, they'd be frustrated. Then when they stopped for coffee, due to their frustration, they would in turn frustrate the clerk. Then the clerk would frustrate the next 5 customers. Those 5 would each frustrate 5 people, and on an on until I've pretty much pissed off the entire Northwest Arkansas region all because I didn't let someone pull out in front of me.

The reverse of this, of course, is that by letting someone pull out they would be overcome by happiness. This unadulterated joy would then spread exponentially and I'd be responsible for making thousands of people feel as though they were walking around with little bottles of sunshine and rainbows in their pockets all day.

But, then I had an appalling thought. What if by being nice and letting someone pull out in front of me I was pissing off 20 people behind me?

The moral of this story is: I'm fucked either way, and I'm pretty sure I suffer from mild delusions of grandeur.

Bumper Sticker Spotted

"Redneck and Proud of It" And it was adorned with a Confederate flag. I don't know how to break it to some of you, but there are no longer any Confederate States of America. There haven't been in over a century, so you should really stop it with the Rebel flag thing. You don't see anyone from the north displaying the Union flag do you?

Wait a minute.

The Union flag is our national flag. You know why? Because the NORTH WON.

Do you really think the South will rise again? Because the way I see it, if you're living in a state who ranks in the bottom five in education and income level, but in the top five in teen pregnancy and crime - I seriously doubt that you're properly prepared for an uprising.

Besides racism is dumb.

Everywhere a Sign

Thomas and I went to Little Rock this past weekend. They have scrolling message boards on the side of the road and I swear to god it's like someone's mother is standing there shouting out instructions: Watch out for work zones. Buckle up for safety. Slow down. Speed kills. Brake for safety. Are you wearing clean underwear? Don't forget to floss. You're not really going to wear that are you? But he's such a nice boy. Don't sit so close to the television. Quit running in the house. That's gonna go straight to your hips. You're making a mess. Don't make me tell your father. Don't touch that. Don't play with that. You're going to go blind. Because I said so!

Take Care,
The Bablatrice - Certified Sunshine Spreader (at least in her own head)

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