October 8, 2007

And Then I Got My Birthday Spanking

This past Saturday was my birthday. My 39th for those who care to know, and to celebrate Thomas and I went to Eureka Springs for the weekend. I know some of you may be thinking that you've heard of Eureka Springs before, and you have. Right here on Flumadiddle. It was on the post where I enticed everyone with the wonderful tourist attractions that Arkansas has to offer. Eureka Springs was the place that offered the gargantuan Jesus. And, guess what? Oh, you'll never guess so I'll just have to show you.

Yes! That's really me and Ginormous Jesus! I can't even begin to tell you how exciting this was for me. Don't we look like we could just take off and fly any minute? The crazy thing is, that's exactly how I felt when I was standing so close to HIM. And since I had the opportunity to get up close and personal with The Great White Jesus, I noticed a few things about him.

1. He has no nostrils and his mouth is closed. This means that Jesus must breath through his eyes, or he has gills.

2. He looks totally baked. I seriously don't think he could pass a pee test right now.

3. He has a concave forehead. Possibly from the crown of thorns, so I really shouldn't poke fun at him for that. It's probably a sore subject with him.

4. He seems completely bored with the whole thing. But that could just be an effect from the great, big doobie he just smoked.

5. His hair is super flat. Product, Jesus. You seriously need some product for your hair.

But the most disturbing thing was....

Ginormous White Jesus is vented.

I'm not sure why.

It could be how he breathes, but I'm thinking it's probably because he gets really hot in that dress and needs a little something to get the air circulating up under there.

And he really is as white as the vent, but the other pictures look darker because Jesus was being bathed in the light of the sunset.

Me and Ginormous Jesus together at sunset. What could be better?

Well, for one thing - this guy lying down on the ground so he could snap the shot of me and Jesus. On the ground, just so I could have a picture. If that's not love, I don't know what is.

The only thing that could have made it better would have been if Church Sign Guy was there.

Take Care,

Babs -who wants you to know that this post was brought to you by the letter fuck, because that's what she said the most while writing it due to the fact that Blogger was being a bitch and not cooperating with her uploading the Jesus pictures.

That was a really long sentence, huh?


  1. Anonymous10:50 PM

    Happy Birthday Babs.

  2. Just don't lie down near that vent too soon after Jesus has had his beans and rice, you know what I'm sayin'. And buon compleanno, Bablicia.

  3. Happy (belated) Birthday! Hope it was a blast. How could it have not been? You were hanging with JC & Thomas. Notice I didn't mention anything about Thomas' penis this time.

  4. I notice you didn't include a close-up of your own head. What are you trying to hide?

  5. Claudia - Thank you very much!

    Don - Gracias Senor

    Dave - Thank you, and even though you didn't mention Thomas' penis, rest assured, it made the trip with us. And a good time was had by all.

    Ex - The gill slits right in front of my ears. Don't tell anyone.

  6. That Jesus is shaped like a milk carton. When I visited, there were some people in front of us talking amongst themselves saying, "When he comes back down through the clouds, I bet he's gonna look just like that." And we were thinking, "Really Lady? You really think he's going to look like a goddamn MILK CARTON?"

    And that's my story about this particular Jesus.

  7. I'm sorry I missed your b-day. It was obviously a fabulous one. Happy belated birthday, Babs!

  8. Boleroid- Wow! It's so exciting to "meet" someone else who has stood next to the big white Jesus.

    Kathleen- Thanks! Glad to see you back.