The Pope, the Pope, the Pope is on Fire
Guess who's shown up as a fiery image in Poland? It's not Jesus, but it's close. It's the pope. Which I'm pretty sure is Jesus' best friend in the whole wide world. And it wasn't the present Pope Benedict Emporer Palpatine, but the former Pope Will He Ever Die John Paul II.
Those pope guys sure do have some long names.
Anyway, here's the picture of the pope in the fire, but once again all the people who see his former popeness in this fire are w-r-o-n-g.
If you look at the fire as a head shot rather than a full body shot, you'll realize that it was Bozo the Clown that was making an appearance in Poland.
No, I don't know why Bozo would be in a fire in Poland, but he's a clown.
And there's no telling what a clown will do.
And, I hate them for it.
She's Got a Ticket To Ride
I've recently become the proud owner of a new car . Excuse me, I've recently become the proud owner of a
I feel the need to give two ginormous thumbs up to whoever came up with the idea that pre-owned was better than used, and that we were just a little bit to dumb to figure out that pre-owned and used were the same fucking thing. So, thanks for insulting our intelligence, asshat!
Anyway, I named my car Jane. She just looks like a Jane, but then one day while reading the manual, I learned that she was made in Canada. I wasn't sure that Jane was an appropriate Canadian name, so I've now changed her name to "Jane-eh?"
And I love her.
Someone Could Have Warned Me
I've been 39 for a total of 10 whole days now, and I've suddenly aged 20 years. I'm not sure how exactly this has happened, but I have examples to prove it. The exact day I turned 39, I suddenly needed to buy reading glasses. How the hell does that happen? How can my eyes be just fine and dandy one day, and then the next I'm struggling to make out the small print on the stupid tag on the reading glasses I'm forced to buy?
And then, a couple of days later, I'm tooling down the road minding my own business when I realize that I'm driving WITH MY BLINKER ON.
So, I feel the need to apologize to the guy in the maroon SUV who was waiting patiently me for me to pull into the right-hand lane. Sorry, dude, but I'm 39 now and obviously that's the age when you start ignoring your blinker.
Then today, while I was driving down the road with my Best of Styx CD blaring, I realized that I really was driving down the road with my Best of Styx CD blaring. Loudly. With the windows down, so others could be a witness to my complete and total dorkiness.
At the rate I'm going, by next month I'm sure I'll have come to the conclusion that my Depends only make me look a little bulky, not like I have an abnormally large ass. I'll be beating the pants off the other bitches at the Bingo parlor, and I am so going to have my Hoveround® totally pimped out.
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto.