August 29, 2007

You Forker

Dieter's Awake!

For those of you who have tried dieting and have failed, I have found the reason why you haven't been able to shed those pounds. You've been using the wrong fork. I know. I mean, it seems so fucking obvious! But, have no fear because the "most revolutionary breakthrough in dieting" is here! I really thought there'd be more to it than just a plastic fork. But, the website claims that this amazing fork has the following qualities:

  • Shorter and dulled teeth inhibiting user from grasping larger pieces of food at any one time
  • Smaller triangular shaped surface area allowing dieter to hold less food than many other forks
  • Uncomfortable grip compelling user to put fork down between bites, slowing the user's eating speed
  • It can also reflect bullets from your fellow diners who are shooting at you because you actually bought this fork.

You can get 10 of these fantabulous, plastic wonderforks for a mere $8.95. Or you could just go buy a baby spoon and get the same results. Or try eating with a popsicle stick. Or a pair of tweezers. Or your toes. Or a plastic fork that's on fire.

Whatever you choose to use, good luck on the weight loss.

Take Care,

Babs

5 comments:

  1. Yeah, I saw the "diet fork" the other day. It's just a plastic fork, people. You can get them for free or use a "spork" from Taco Bell.

    Found a Blessed Mother "vision" story for you. Sadly, no pictures.

    http://www.thetimes-tribune.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=18764473&BRD=2185&PAG=461&dept_id=416046&rfi=6

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  2. Good grief.

    Oh, did I ever mention that my hubby calls me Babs? When he isn't calling me Lucy? lol

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  3. Coconut bra or no, your boss looks like a hottie to me.

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  4. ...and you still don't like where you work...what, they don't have open bar Fridays?

    ka---uutee~

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  5. Do the diet forks come with directions? I'm not sure which end goes in the food.

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