I received an email that someone sent from GodTube. The subject line was "I Love Little Boys", and the message was "You heard me!".
I'm hoping this was one of you trying to point me in the direction of some hideous video I could poke fun at. If so, could you send it again with the video? If it's not one of you, then someone on GodTube is one sick dickhole and they're proud of it. Why they would want me to know is a mystery, though.
Church Sign O' the Week
This week we have a 2 for 1 special, and it's only Tuesday! I think a certain g-o-d is smiling down on this happy, little heathen.
Sign #1 - Easter Eggstravaganza
Sign #2 - Have an eggcellent Easter
Church Sign Guy must be one of those liberal Christians who think it's A-OK to have eggs and bunnies and all manner of pastel, goofy stuff at Easter. Unlike those stuffy evangelical, born again buttholes who think that if you dare give your child an egg on Easter, Jesus will send Moses down from way up there in heaven to bean you on the head with his staff. And, trust me, Moses has a huge staff. I'll betcha his staff is really hoary, too. I just had to throw that in, because every time I think of Moses (which is a lot) I think of the word "hoary".
CSG is also obviously on a campaign to have all of the church signs in the area have some pun with the word "egg" in it so, I thought I'd help out. Here are a few ideas:
- Demon possessed? Come get eggcorcised.
- I'm pickin' up good vibrations. Jesus is giving me eggcitations.
- Jesus can beat the eggscrement out of the Easter Bunny.
- Our pews may be eggscrutiatingly uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as you'll be in the lake of fire.
- Jesus: He's eggstra special (but not short bus special)
- Come get your sin eggsfoliated.
- On Judgement Day there will be no eggscuses for you being such a dirty, dirty whore.
- Be eggstreme for Jesus - he likes it rough.
- Last one to heaven is a rotten egg.
- Our pastor's having an eggstramarital affair, but we're not telling his eggsasperating wife.
- Enter as a sinner, but eggsit as an annoyingly pious person.
You're no bunny 'til some bunny loves you enough to tell you that you're going to die and go to hell.
Babs - who has a feeling that The Eggsterminator is going to have some of his own sign ideas.