March 2, 2008

Some moron had this idea...

I just have to say that whoever had the idea of taking everyone's book entry from my last post, and making a compilation of them was a total and complete doink. But, I did it anyway. Here are the reworked entries. They are not amusing. They could possibly be slightly entertaining if you're drunk. So, you might want to grab a bottle before you attempt to read this. Hell, you don't even have to read it. Just leave me a comment stating the obvious that my blog has gone to shit in the past month and what the fuck is wrong with you, Babs?

The truth is, I don't know. Please be patient and I'm sure I'll have my godless mojo back soon. I may have to make an entreaty to the Most High God of Blasphemy.

Let's just get this post over with and hopefully we can move on to something less painful. Here are the new and improved entries! Yeah, that's it. They're new and improved and less filling!

A delirium is characterized by a disturbance of consciousness and a change in cognition that develop over a short period of time. Moreover, there are no laws to protect privately owned rocks, as there are for creeks and certain trees. Or they can try.

By sometime around 330 B.C., Alexander the Great had conquered much of the known world, including what we now call the Middle East. Like Napoleon and Hitler, Alexander was short and very much distrusted cats, Jews and newspapers. Strauss, by way of gratitude, called him a dilettante. Straight truth, Blair thought.

We will now suppose that a nurse has been called to a confinement case. Unfortunately, the obvious 2.Nb1-c3 move is not effective because black can defend the e4-square with Ng8-f6. Another difficulty may arise with some seeds and some weather conditions where an electrostatic charge builds up and hold the seeds to the plate.

At the end of each episode the whole family comes together to drink a cup of Maxwell House coffee. Their eyes watch, as if ready to silence any impudence; they look like they should be carrying switches.

After 2.c2-c4 d5xc4, white is able to gain undisputed control over the center of the board with 3.Nb1-c3 and 4.e2-e4. Soon after his victories he stepped on a rainbow and spent a great deal of downtime hopping around hell on a pogo stick waiting to be bugled to Jesus, who, of course, would not be born for another three hundred years.

The most reliable method of all is to immobilize the freewheel in a freewheel vise and use two chain whips . The woman in the middle spoke, “If I could have the lovely balm Moira spoke of, and a meal, I'd be as good as new-but for the fact every bone of my body feels as if it’s been hit with a hammer."

If you twist a tool sideways you may damage some cog teeth. Owners can chip them, mine them, even demolish them. Cold may be applied to the abdomen and the genitals

The disorders included in the "Delirium" section are listed according to presumed etiology:

Like Napoleon and Hitler, Alexander did not get to have much fun in life. (delirium due to multiple etiologies )

The idea that Mark's gospel might be the earliest of the four, first occurred to Weiss during the progress of his work." (substance induced delirium)

Kahlan took a second glance at their hands to see if they were empty. (delirium not otherwise specified)

The second example was created in 1951 for Procter & Gamble (4) with each fifteen-minute episode interrupted by a commercial for the cleaning product Spic & Span. I solved that problem by fabricating a small wooden crossbar with a toothbrush attached below it.

What is the first thing to be done? White usually continues with 2.c2-c4, a move that gambits a pawn, though it is rare that black accepts the offer. The farther apart the tools are, the harder it is to channel their force in the right directions.

Take Care,

I am not signing my name to this

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:30 AM

    Dear ???,

    Since you didn't sign your name, I don't know whom I should tell that this is funny. Too bad, because this is fucking funny.

    Love,
    the Most High God of Blasphemy

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  2. This would be hilarious read aloud by a couple of drunks or stoners.

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  3. I offer my services in either role...

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  4. I must confess that I read this post before the previous post and was much confused. It made MUCH more sense after reading the previous post. I wish I hadn't been diligent yesterday at work and I could have played along. I think the Nancy Drew mystery I was reading yesterday would have added a nice little twist.

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  5. Ok, you're right....next!

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  6. Well, Babs. It was certianly worth a try. Good for you for following through with your promise despite finding yourself painted into a corner. And anyway - It actually got a couple cuckles out of me

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  7. Chuckles. Not cuckles. Duh.

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