Everyone, say hello to Janine Sugawara. I guess this would be a better introduction if I actually had a photo of Janine, but sadly I do not. Janine is some kind of special. The stupid kind. What did Janine do to win such high praise? I think it has something to do with her being in court recently trying her darnedest to win a lawsuit in which she claims she was duped because the crunch berries in Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berries cereal aren't real fruit.
What the fuckity fuck? There's not a delectable fruit known as a crunch berry? I feel as though my entire life has been a lie.
Astonishingly enough, Janine did not win her case.
Psst, Janine. You should totally sue those bastards again, because Cap'n Crunch? Not one single captain in the box.
Oh, the disappointments of life.