One News Now has done it again. Another gripping article is up, and this one is about Ray Comfort. Ray's the dude who hangs out with Kirk Cameron and has the anti-evolution video in which he uses a banana as a demonstration tool. He's the banana man, and you can catch some hot banana action here.
Anyway, Ray was sitting around one night stroking his banana (it helps him think), and he had a flash of brilliance in which he realized that atheists and evolutionists don't have a bible. Hold the phone. What? They don't have a what? Holy, holy books, Batman! No bible? How do they manage to accomplish life's simplest of tasks without a bible to guide them in their every step?
But Ray's epiphany didn't stop there. He further taxed his brain and decided that atheists and evolutionists need a bible. Why? Let's have Ray explain it, "You ask one atheist something and he'll say I believe this about God -- and someone else will say something else," he shares. "They don't have a 'bible'...there is no rock to stand on."
Sweet Jesus on a paper plate! First no bible and now no rock? Someone hold me because I am scared. So scared and ever so cold. Just end the world now. Side note to Ray: If an atheist states that he believes something about God, guess what? Not an atheist.
The good news is that Ray has come up with an amazing solution to the lack of an atheist/evolutionist bible. He has written the Charles Darwin Bible. Well, hot dog and hallelujah! That's brilliant! Brilliant, I say. I only have one question.
What the fuck is a Charles Darwin Bible?
Well, Ray the Stroking Banana Man says that the Charles Darwin Bible takes a lot of evolutionary beliefs and juxtaposes them with scripture to create a clear case for the creator. I have trouble believing he really said that. Mostly because I don't think Ray knows what the word 'juxtaposes' means. I also think it's highly possibly that Ray is one chicken choker short of a circle jerk.
Anywho, I'd love to get my hands on Ray's banana. NO. That's not right. I'd love to get my hands on Ray's Charles Darwin Bible. So if any of you have one, give it up. I need it.
By the way, Bananas and Bibles is my new curse phrase. Oh Bananas and Bibles!
Smacks on the Ass,