This note was left on the door of the office the other day.
I sorry I missed you, too, UPS dude. I honestly don't have any problem at all with what you put up your pants on your own time. Boxes, furry woodland creatures, cattle prods, roller skates - whatever blows your skirt up. However, if you're going to be putting boxes up your pants, please don't use the box you're delivering to us and please don't do it in one of our trucks. Okay? I mean, we're definitely a strange bunch around here, but we're not box-up-our-pants strange.