I hate to break it to the children of born-again parents, but you will never be allowed to have another Happy Meal again. Wanna know why? Mostly because your parents are batshit crazy, and think that because McDonald's is now a corporate sponsor of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, if you eat a Happy Meal you will instantly turn into a homosexual. But not just your run-of-the-mill homosexual, but instead, a raging, maniacal, crazy-eyed homosexual with an agenda. THAT GAY ONE! Then after you've tried turning everyone else into a raging, maniacal, crazy-eyed homosexual, you'll be damned to hell for all eternity. All because you ate a Happy Meal! Way to go, kid. I hope the crappy toy was worth it.
At least that's what the geniuses over at World Net Daily are reporting, or pretty close to that anyway. The crew over at WND have their collective hamster-sized scrotums in a snag because not only has McDonald's become a corporate sponsor of the godless, gay agenda, but its VP of communications, Richard Ellis, has been elected to the board of that really, really supergay Chamber of Commerce. Well, jumping Jesus on a trampoline! Who the hell knows what McD's will do next? They'll probably start putting strap-ons and tubs of anal lube in the Happy Meals.
The big guys at McDonald's refused to return phone calls from WND, but did send an email that stated, "McDonald's is indeed a Corporate Partner and Organizational Ally of NGLCC. " I think they should have added, "We also think that you should indeed shove that up your overly tight, born-again asses."
I am so thrilled with McDonald's, I thought I'd help them out with a few new menu ideas that will reflect their choice to embrace that crazy, gay agenda.
Babs - who always knew that Ronald was totally gay.