The first freaky item was sent to me by the ever alert to odd religious stuff, Kathleen.
You can turn Jesus on and off all day long. Just remember though, if Jesus has a painful erection lasting more than 4 hours, be sure and call a doctor. And why the hell is Jesus pushing the kids towards the light switch? Stay away from the light, kids. STAY AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!
Since the Jesus light switch is so awesome, I thought a Virgin Mary light switch was in order.
The next display of pure freakishness is a book cover I found over at Sammy Gipp's site. Sammy is a preacher man who writes books once in awhile, but he spends most of his time doing battle with the forces of evil. He's kinda like Luke Skywalker, but he's probably a much better actor than Mark Hamill. Not that being a better actor than Mark Hamill is any kind of accomplishment.
From saggy to perky with a single flip. You want to touch the virgin boobies, don't you?
So, here's the book cover.
Holy fucking flapjacks!
First, For His Pleasure should never be the title of a book unless it's an instruction manual on the fine art of fellatio. The only other time the phrase "for his pleasure" should be used is in a condom advertisement. Thin for his pleasure, motorized for hers.
Second, if you're going to be a complete bag o' douche and title your book For His Pleasure NEVER EVER EVER put a man and a boy on the front cover, you sick, sick fuck.
Third, If you have already strapped on the stupid and ignored the first two rules, I wash my hands of you, and you might as well have the man and boy playing with a goddamn erector set. Who knows? Maybe they're building a tower to god.
Didn't Sammy once stop to think that maybe just maybe this was, I dunno, a tad pervy?