Thanks to the lovely Carla for sending me this one.
The times when you only saw one set of footprints in the snow...that was when I carried you.
I don't know how in the hell the reporter ever read the ransom note without laughing. I think the Daily Show should definitely look into recruiting him. I give Jean two enthusiastic thumbs up for her "graspy voice" line, and for her dramatic ending..."It wasn't. It wasn't."
The good news is, Jesus is back! It turns out that her neighbors weren't the Jesus thieves after all. One of Jean's family members is the culprit, but Jean refuses to go into any details about it.
I'll bet she's sorry now that she put all those bags of flaming, wiener poopie on her neighbor's porches.