February 7, 2008

Awwww Crap!

Thanks to the lovely Carla for sending me this one.




The times when you only saw one set of footprints in the snow...that was when I carried you.

I don't know how in the hell the reporter ever read the ransom note without laughing. I think the Daily Show should definitely look into recruiting him. I give Jean two enthusiastic thumbs up for her "graspy voice" line, and for her dramatic ending..."It wasn't. It wasn't."

The good news is, Jesus is back! It turns out that her neighbors weren't the Jesus thieves after all. One of Jean's family members is the culprit, but Jean refuses to go into any details about it.

I'll bet she's sorry now that she put all those bags of flaming, wiener poopie on her neighbor's porches.

Take Care,
Babs

15 comments:

  1. LOL! The best part was how they kept referring to the statue as "Jesus" - as if our lord and savior hisownself had been kidnapped. Great stuff.... yeah, definitely some Daily Show potential with the reporter.

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  2. Mmmmmmmmm.....weiner poopieeeeee....

    *snort*

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  4. If Jesus would have just gotten off his butt and picked up the wiener crap without having to be told to do it, none of this would have happened.

    Irresponsible Lord.

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  5. This blog may be getting too depressing for me. First it was the heartbreak of stinky penis and now this wrenching tale.

    I just think that any news report containing the phrases wiener, poopie, cement Jesus, and ransom note is bound to tug on viewers' heartstrings. My prayers go out to Jean, to the odious persons who took the cement Jesus, and also to that poor lonely slab left behind in Jean's yard.

    I don't know about anybody else, but I was able to stay composed until I heard that second, oh-so-resigned "It wasn't." How touching! Beautiful camera work and poignant voice-over on this perfect little gem examining one of life's everyday tragedies. We're talking Emmy-worthy stuff here.

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  6. Ex, are you being sarcastic? Very unlike you.

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  7. I thought I had the follow up bookmarked but I can't find it. I laughed out loud when I first saw that. My reaction of course was sympathizing with the neighbors. You just know she's not retrieving the products of her poop factories from everyone's yards.

    Even in this story you have wieners. :)

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  8. Do you think the news would have been as concerned if it was a frog or a frog that she saw Jesus on?

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  9. HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

    Oh my god! What is WRONG with people! How did this get on the NEWS???

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  10. By the way, I'm starting a band called Cement Jesus and the Weiner Poopies. I get to be Cement Jesus. I'm playing the castinettes and some back-up vocals. Who's in?

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  11. By the way, I'm starting a band called Cement Jesus and the Weiner Poopies. I get to be Cement Jesus. I'm playing the castinettes and some back-up vocals. Who's in?

    Oooo.. I'm in if I can play the cowbell.

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  12. Holy crap!

    What kind of shit is this?

    (snort)

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  13. Evo - Maybe Jean had the real Jesus and she had encased him in concrete.

    Doc B - You've been going around saying "wiener poopieeee" to people, haven't you?

    Chappy - If I was Jean, I'd ground Jesus for 3 months.

    Ex - I'm so sorry. Do you need a tissue? I guess I should have warned you first.

    Philly - I know. I just can't escape anything phallic. It's a curse.

    OG - Only if it was a froggy Jesus. Besides, a plain old frog just isn't as fun to kidnap, and probably wouldn't have been an heirloom like Jesus was.

    Fwig - I am so in your band. But, I'm not going to be the wiener poopie.

    Claudia - It's wiener shit. Kind of like wienerschnitzel, minus the breading.

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  14. I have zero musical talent, but would love to be in FWG's band.

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  15. Babs, If you and your beautiful piano will join then of course you can be cement jesus and I will step down and be a wiener poopie.

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