Meanwhile, Back at the Hall of Justice
When I was little I wanted to be Wonder Woman. Not the live-action Linda Carter Wonder Woman, but the cartoon Super Friends Wonder Woman. I loved her hair, her boots, her bullet-deflecting bracelets, and even her star-spangled corset-teddy-slut suit thing. I'll bet it was really a bodysuit - one with snaps at the crotch. Did anyone else ever have to wear those? I don't know what kind of sadist invented them, but they were one sick individual. Bodysuits were especially horrible when you outgrew one, but still tried to wear it anyway. Because once you were to big for the thing and tried to snap it, as soon as you straightened back up it suddenly unsnapped, and you had a crotch snaps flying at your face at about 200 mph. I'm sure there was more than one person back in the 70s who suffered facial trauma from a flying bodysuit snap.
Anyway, back to Wonder Woman. Even though I wanted to be her more than anything in the whole wide world, I thought her invisible plane sucked big, green monkey nuts. You know why? Because while the plane was invisible, Wonder Woman was not. I hated that, and I'll bet I wasn't the only kid on Saturday morning sitting there thinking that Wonder Woman was a complete twat if she thought that no one could see her because she was flying an invisible plane. We could totally see you, Wonder Woman. Right through your stupid invisible plane.
Meanwhile, Back at the Church of Fucking
You guys remember Earl? The preacher at the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit at Chapel Hill Harvester Church whose nephew was also his son? You know, the one that didn't fuck a camel.
Well, Earl still hasn't fornicated with a camel, but dammit all I wish he would.
Earl did, however, plead guilty to lying his holy ass off under oath about ever putting his peepee into any woman other than his wife. The paternity test that proved he was his nephew's daddy kind of gave him away. I'm thinkin' Earl's pretty pissed that his god ever invented that damn DNA shit. Due to Earl being a douche bag, and not only sleeping with his brother's wife, but then lying about it, he was fined $1000 and is on probation for 10 years.
I'll bet he wouldn't get more than 10 years probation for boinking a camel. So, whatta ya say Earl? Take one for the team. Give me something good to write about, because when I have to resort to writing about Wonder Woman and you not fucking a camel, Earl, I obviously don't have any decent fodder.
Meanwhile, Back at Church Sign O' the Week
Finally! It's been so long since I've had a good church sign. I think Church Sign Guy has been cheating on me with some other atheist chick. But, it's okay, because this week's sign more than makes up for his philandering ways.
Oh, Church Thign Guy. You're tho clever! At your church, can you get your boobth growed, and your nothe thrinked? Maybe even have your penith pumped or have implanth thtuck in your ath? You rock my world, Church Thign Guy. Theriously.