To All the Men I've Loved Before

Do any of you men suffer from MGO? You know, M.G.O. It's code for Male Genital Odors. I had never heard of MGO until I found a product that promises to have your malodorous manhood smelling minty fresh in no time. Well, praise Jesus and pass down a tube of NodorO™! Of course, if your junk really is rank, I suppose it's no laughing matter, but the NodorO™ website most definitely is.

Here are some excerpts that I've delicately plucked from the website, and it's a lot of fun if you imagine Julia Child is reading them to you. I know she's dead, but that doesn't mean you still can't imagine her voice, does it? Her voice is just the one that popped into my head when I started reading these. I'm sure there's some freaky psychological reason for it.

Why the hell am I trying to explain myself? On with the fetid wiener stuff. Oh, one more thing, you can imagine my writing being read to you by whomever you so desire. Now, seriously on with the fetid wiener stuff.

Have you ever asked yourself? "Why is it that no matter how much time and effort I put into washing my penis in the shower, I still get that awful whiff of a rancid smell throughout the day, or even right after a shower?"

Oh so that's what we're calling it? Washing my penis in the shower? That is one lame euphemism for masturbating. However, if you really are washing your hoodihang, and you're putting a lot of effort into it that may be why you're in a state of reekness down south. You're probably getting chaffed from all the vigorous washing, and now your nut cannon is infected. Way to go, you dick scrubbing moron.

Let's be honest, unpleasant smells are a turn off for anyone, and the last thing you want is for a fishy smell to be coming from your own penis.

Does this mean you wouldn't mind a fishy smell coming from one of your buddy's penises? I'm sorry, I've been with a few an undisclosed number of men in my life, and I've never encountered any fishy smell. Or a rancid smell. Or anything so terribly awful that I thought that the man needed medication because he had a bad case of the dick funk. Maybe I've led a sheltered life and haven't been exposed to such horrors. If that's the case, then I'm eternally grateful for whatever circumstances allowed that to happen.

Take charge of your hygiene, improve your confidence, and get NodorO™ today. You too, will soon be able to say: "I SMELL PERFECT!".

Not to nitpick, but I think you will soon be able to say, "MY DICK SMELLS PERFECT!" (I can only imagine what kind of people that's gonna bring to my blog.)

NodorO™ targets the micro-fungi called tinea corporis that may be causing your MGO.

Other, less serious side effects may be more likely to occur. These include burning, itching, irritation of the skin, and an increased need to urinate.

NodorO™ SHOULD NEVER BE INGESTED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

I think they're serious about that last one. So, even if you're at the movies and you're super hungry, but you're all engrossed in the flick and don't want to leave your seat and all you have is your tube of NodorO™, DO NOT EAT IT. Just pick up some popcorn from the floor to hold you over. I also think "SHOULD NEVER BE INGESTED" means no hummers while you're medicating your member. Not even as a joke, because the hummer giver will not think it's funny. Not even a little bit.

Also, just to be a total geek, I have to point out that tinea corporis is the fungus commonly referred to as ringworm, which can be cured by any anti-fungal medication. When it's on your nether regions, it's referred to as tinea cruris, which is a fancy name for jock itch. Which oddly enough causes burning, itching and irritation of the skin - exactly the side effects of this amazing product. It's like getting two cases of jock itch for the price of one! Score!

Finally, should you order NodorO™ and find it's just not getting rid of your stinkystank, there's a money-back guarantee. All you have to do is follow these 2 easy steps:

#1. Complete the "RETURN FORM"

#2. Return the packing slip, along with the original box and the remaining of the product WITHIN 30 DAYS of the purchase date.

Uh. Seriously? You want the unused product back? Do you mix it back in with the other batches? How the hell do you know that some guy didn't just squirt the stuff onto Mr. Dinky STRAIGHT FROM THE TUBE? What if the tube touched his STINKY YOU KNOW WHAT? And you want that back? That's just way nasty, NodorO™ people.

But remember boys,
if you use NodorO™...

Take Care,
Babs -who thinks it's high time the men had to share in all the "fishy smell" jokes.