October 17, 2006

I'll Buy That for a Dolla!

This note is one of the reasons I have to smile at the office. For clarity's sake, Lawn Monkey is a landscape billing software. And, it sucks. In fact, it sucks huge monkey butt.

Enjoy fine shopping? Well, if you're driving through Arkansas, you're pretty much screwed.
Instead, you can enjoy this quaint, little boutique. What surprises me most about the sign was that the proprietor knew that the word 'Bubba' should be possessive and properly used the apostrophe.

I've started getting random catalogs at the office, and the one that came in today was amazingly crappy. In fact, the name of it was Catalog of Amazingly Crappy Crap. Here are a few of the items you can purchase.

Naughty, naughty elves. I'm sorry, but looking at these two elves I can't come up with any caption that doesn't include the words, "rim" and "job". So, I just won't say anything about them. Except that I am completely shocked that they've had to mark down the price of the two lawn-humping elves.

Sweet, Jesus. It talks! I love that it's described as a "tasteful depiction of Jesus Christ", and the ad writers felt the need to point out that Jesus is "dressed in the style of biblical times".
I'm glad they specified, because I was waffling between a Jedi Knight and Indiana Jones in a dress

Does the sight of human feces turn you on? It does? Then these are the chocolate thongs for you. You simply slip them on and your body heat melts them, and then it looks like you've shit the bed, and that's when the fun starts!

Please note: these are elasticized and the image of melted chocolate on an elastic band is just not something I want floating around in my head.

Finally, when the whole chocolate poop fiasco fun is over and done with, you can wipe your chocolate covered ass with the image of your own face on a towel. Sweet!

Take Care,

The Bablatrice - who is filling out her order sheet as soon as she's done here.

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