September 17, 2010

The Radical Homosexuals Meet the Big O

President Obama has a secret plan.  A devious, secret plan.  An appalling, devious, secret plan.  What is his plan?  He wants to imbed homosexuals in every government agency possible.   How do I know of this secret plan?  Because my buddy Eugene Delgaudio (if that's his real name) over at Public Advocate sent me an email telling me that President Obama is planning to "saturate the federal government with radical homosexuals".  I know that Eugene is telling me the truth, too.  For starters, even though Eugene has liberally peppered his email with requests for donations, I know he would never lie to me just to get money.  In fact, I wrote Eugene back and made him pinky swear that he was telling me the truth.  I know a virtual pinky swear isn't the same as the real thing, but it still counts, goddammit! 

Plus, I have my own sources and they've informed me that President Obama even has a slogan for his evil plan, "A homosexual in every pot." 

Eugene also let me know that the radical homosexuals' number one mission is to spread their agenda.  I had a cousin who spread her agenda once and she ended up needing a round of antibiotics.  You have to be careful with your agenda spreading, kids. 

Mr. Delgaudio doesn't ever say what would happen should the government be overrun by the gays and lesbians, but I'm thinking it would involve show tunes and softball games.  And seqins.  Lots of sequins. 

The scariest part of Eugene's email is that Barney Frank is trying to get the Gay Bill of Special Rights passed.  I have no idea what unholy thing the Gay Bill of Special Rights is, but I have my sources working on it.  So far I've learned that #3 on the Gay Bill of Special Rights is, "Dykes will receive a 25% discount on anything that's made of flannel." I'll post it in its entirety when I obtain this information. 

Smacks on the ass,

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous11:02 PM

    A homosexual in every pot...I like that.