President Obama has a secret plan. A devious, secret plan. An appalling, devious, secret plan. What is his plan? He wants to imbed homosexuals in every government agency possible. How do I know of this secret plan? Because my buddy Eugene Delgaudio (if that's his real name) over at Public Advocate sent me an email telling me that President Obama is planning to "saturate the federal government with radical homosexuals". I know that Eugene is telling me the truth, too. For starters, even though Eugene has liberally peppered his email with requests for donations, I know he would never lie to me just to get money. In fact, I wrote Eugene back and made him pinky swear that he was telling me the truth. I know a virtual pinky swear isn't the same as the real thing, but it still counts, goddammit!
Plus, I have my own sources and they've informed me that President Obama even has a slogan for his evil plan, "A homosexual in every pot."