August 3, 2010

To Gay or Not to Gay

Tom Brock is a Lutheran pastor in Minnesota. Does anybody else always hear the word "Minnesota" said with a Minnesotan accent?

Me, too. And then I have a complete conversation going on in my head between two Minnesotans. One of them is ALWAYS named Tom, and they're always getting ready to go have some beers.

Am I starting to sound a bit nuts? I am, aren't I? Welcome to my head, kids. It's a circus of crazy in here!

Speaking of nuts, let's get back to Tom. He recently told the AP that even though he's sexually attracted to men, that since he's never actually had his peepee in another man nor has he had another man's peepee in him, then he isn't gay.

He may or may not have actually used the term 'peepee'. He also may or may not actually know the meaning of the word 'gay'.

Tom is reportedly a memeber of a support group for Christians who struggle with same sex attraction. Um, to be more accurate, I really think the support group should be classified as people with same sex attractions who struggle with being a Christian. After all, one is perfectly natural and the other is contrived, at best, and requires vast stretches of the imagaination. Not to mention worshiping a man-god who wants you to eat his flesh and drink his blood.


Tom also had this to say about the gay, "I think we're all born heterosexual actually, and then stuff goes wrong,"


I think it's obvious from the phrase "stuff goes wrong" that Tom is not only a man of god, but he's also highly scientific. I'm talkin' through the roof scientific.

He also believes that anyone who engages in homosexuality is going to go to hell. Do you know what this means? It means that all of you gays and lesbians are going to have such an easy time getting laid in hell.

I'm not sure it's fair.

And, Tom? Dude. You're like totally gay.

Much love,
Babs

You can check out the full story here.

8 comments:

  1. Nice! You make me laugh!

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  2. I always actually repeat the word Minnesota with a Minnesota accent, regardless of where and how I've heard the word.

    Announced with a TV accent: "The Minnesota Twins are in town to take on the Boston Red Sox."
    Me, sitting alone watching TV: "Minn-uh-SOOOOO-da"
    Me again: "BAAAAAS-don"

    To the point of your post:

    "I really think the support group should be classified as people with same sex attractions who struggle with being a Christian."

    That really sums it up. I'm not sure much else is required.

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  3. Does anybody else always hear the word "Minnesota" said with a Minnesotan accent?

    Every single time! I always think of The West Wing. CJ says, "So, say I'm from Minnesota." Toby replies, in a Minnesotan accent, "I'm from MinneSOta."

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  4. Thanks, Shulertown!

    Rob and A in E - I am SO glad I'm not the only one that does this!

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  5. Tom Brock, meet Ted Haggard, both want cock so bad, like most priests, condemn what they really want to do themselves.

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  6. Steven - I think Ted and Tom would be the perfect couple. I wonder what Ted's up to these days...

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  7. i love it and i agree.... they are gay struggling to be christian....

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  8. Julie - Thank you! I'm so glad you found your way into my demented little corner of the web!

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