My Butt Be Tasty
Don't tell anyone, but Friday I left the office at 4:30 in the afternoon. And the world didn't come to an end. I left partly from sheer exhaustion - I had gotten to the point where I just really didn't give a fuck anymore - and partly because I was nursing a spider bite on my ass. Yep. I had to go to the doctor and flash my behind to what seemed like the entire staff all because some stupid spider thought that would be a good place to bite me. In fact, it's the second time in the past 6 months or so that I've had to go to the doctor for a spider bite - ON MY ASS. I don't know what kind of spider keeps doing this to me, but I think it must be the relatives of one I've killed. They've formed a spider mafia and now they're trying to ice me. The good news is I'm now on antibiotics and steroids. The bad news is the steroids won't let me sleep. So I'm trying to function on 4 hours sleep, and I'm just too damn old for that.
Arrgh, I'd Like to See His Mainmast
Speaking of pirates - which we really weren't, but I was in my head- I definitely recommend seeing Pirates of the Caribbean III. If nothing else for the scenes where there are multiple Johnny Depps. It was like my own little private fantasy had come to life right there on the screen. Except the multiple Johnnys had clothes on, and I wasn't smack dab in the middle of a Johnny manwich. And the jugglers and dancing squirrels wearing spandex pants and torn-off-the-shoulder-Flashdance-flashback sweatshirts were missing, but other than that - it was exactly like my fantasy.
Jesus is MIA
All has been quiet on the Jesus sighting front lately. Maybe the Big J doesn't like the warmer weather? Do you think he's been kidnapped and that's what stopping him from showing up on various random objects? I wonder what the ransom note for Jesus would be like. I mean, the kidnappers could threaten to kill him if you didn't drop off one million dollars in small unmarked bills in a brown paper bag, but c'mon kidnappers. He's JESUS for chrissake. He could just bring himself back to life. No. The more I think about it, the more kidnapping Jesus just doesn't make sense.
Not that I've spent a great deal of time thinking about kidnapping Jesus.
See what happens when I don't get enough sleep. It's not pretty, is it?