May 28, 2007

5-28-07

Where the Hell Did She Go Now?

Well, I'm becoming quite adept at the disappearing acts, huh? Where have I been this time? You remember when I told you that I was busy at work and came home brain dead? It's been worse lately. Our account manager is no longer with our company and it was an abrupt departure which left me with trying to do his job. So it's been 12 hour days and some weekends and a little working at home. Good fucking times, people.

And a great big thank you to all of you who sent emails wondering where I'd gone to.

So, I'll just pick up where I left off. You remember my son was graduating? Well, here's how it went.

This is my daughter and I before graduation.
And this is my son and I after graduation.

But they were tears of pride and joy. He graduated with honors and a scholarship and I have to say he was the cutest kid in his class.

Church Sign O' the Week


Oh suhweet Church Sign Guy! I think it's totally cool that you're stealing beer commercials to use for your signs. And even though we all know Jesus turned water into wine, I'll bet deep down inside he really was more of a beer guy. But you're getting creepy again with the drinking the big J's blood thing. Do you have some kind of blood fetish? Oh sweet mercy, are you a vampire?

Anyway, I thought maybe you might like help with your next Jesus beer sign. So, how 'bout you use Bud Lite's Real Men of Genius commerical? It could go something like this:

Today we salute you, Mr. Cross-Carrying, Crown-of -Thorns Wearing Man-God. The immaculate conception was merely the beginning of your miraculous life. You exited that virign womb and started tossing miracles around like cheap plastic beads at Mardi Gras. Not only did you raise Lazarus from the dead, but you totally raised the bar when you did the same for yourself. You took your run of the mill, people-bound demons and cast them into pigs, and turned ordinary H2O into sweet, fermented goodness. And you did it all while wearing a dress robe tunic - whatever it was. So, crack open an ice cold Bud Lite beer, Mr. I Can Walk On Water and You Can't. And while you're at it crack open another can of miracles and pass around the love.


Okay, you might have to get a bigger sign, but I think it would be like totally bad-ass to see that on a church sign. You'd be a hero. Seriously. People would come from miles around to your work. You'd be a genius.

Wait a minute.

Church Sign Guy - you would be fabulous for a Real Men of Genius commercial. I'm going to start working on it right now, and then I'm going to send it to the Bud Lite people and see if they'll use it. Why would I do this? Because, I love you Church Sign Guy. With every inch of my little, black heart.

Take Care,
Babs

9 comments:

  1. Mine graduates next week. Everything becomes surreal.

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  2. Bud Lite ought to use your suggested ad and change its name to Flum Lite. Well, on second thought, maybe that sounds a little too much like Phlegm Lite.

    In any case, glad to see you again in the atheosphere.

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  3. Babs, your kids are adorable. And I could clearly hear a deep announcer voice in my head as I read your TV commercial script. The aliens surely liked it. Lafmu, they say. Clearly LMFAO with an Andromedane accent.

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  4. Missed you, gurly! Your kids are beautiful - just like you.

    Next time it's your turn to walk the apxllbv.

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  5. Lovely beautiful daughter and handsome son, congrats to him!

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  6. Those were great pictures.

    The "Today we salute you,..." commercial was brilliant!

    Have you heard of Voltaire, the gothic artist/singer/songwriter? He has a song called God Thinks which I think you might enjoy...and his Live album has a little bit where he explains Easter to his young son - you know Jesus was executed and his followers believe he rose from the tomb three days later. His son's response? His eyes widen and he says, "Jesus was a zombie?" with a wide-eyed look and full-on devil horns. I laugh my ass off every time I listen to it.

    I'm jrmfjukq'd today.

    Shit, now I'm rwxkktse'd.

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  7. SOoooo glad you're back, I was starting to get a complex.....um and I love the Church Sign Guy, uh huh!

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  8. I've been wondering where you went! Congrats to your son on his graduation with honors. That is really cool. Thanks for sharing the pictures -- you're a beautiful family.

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  9. Don - Surreal is the perfect description.

    Ex- Phlegm Lite - less chucks = less filling.

    Fwig - Thank you kind sir. And the aliens seriously are easily amused.

    Sharna - Aw, thanks.

    Crazy - Thanks to you, too.

    Kathleen - I haven't heard of Voltaire, but I'm going to have to check him out. He sounds great.

    Carla - Thanks chickypoo. It's nice to be missed.

    Diana - Thank you very much. I'm proud of the kid.

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