Anyhooha, here we go. Well, first I have to say that I haven't checked these in awhile and I was surprised to find that the list included a whole hell of a lot of references to penises and their various euphemisms. I must talk about dick a lot, huh?
- scrotum padlock - You know, should you have stumbled upon Flumadiddle just a few days ago you would have caught the scrotum padlocks on sale. But, they were such a good deal, I'm afraid we've sold out. If you're scared that someone may steal your scrotum, you might try duct taping it to your leg.
- dicky di - Well, you forgot the rest of the group's name. Dicky Di and the Dingleberries.
- strange evil unknown - Hey! That perfectly describes my blog.
- sightings of Jesus hitchhiking - Suhweet! I have a new Google search to perform. Thanks person who looked for this.
- fatty fatty bum bum bring me a teacake - Oh. What a sweet little dickhole. How 'bout you get your own teacake and shove it straight up your arse?
- bondage AND garage AND hoist AND video - Aw shucks, oh thou kinky one. I have the bondage, the hoist and definitely the video, but I'm afraid I have no garage. I am so sorry. Would a tool shed work instead?
- crotch malfunctions - Did you have anything particular in mind or just a general crotch malfunction? I think you're just going to have to go to a crotch doctor. Just try to find one that doesn't have "feely" or "wiggles" anywhere in their name. Like Dr. McFeely Wiggles. NOT a good crotch doctor.
- imaginary girlfriend jelly spanky - Wowie! You're even kinkier than garage-hoist dude, aren't ya? Jelly spanky? Is that your imaginary girlfriend's pet name?
- what happens at a shindig - All manner of debauchery and shenanigans. And we usually sacrifice a virgin or two.
- how to wrap a biblical times loincloth - And the kinkiness just continues. I imagine you just start wrapping till the boys aren't dangling beneath the hem. Or you could duct tape them to your leg.
- scrotum chapped - Well, that's what you get for taping it to your leg.
- you're gay for Santa what does that even mean - Well, I think it means that 1. You're a dude. 2. You want a little man-action with the jolly, bearded guy. 3. If you really are poppin' a boner for Santa, then you probably need to go to therapy. I mean, Santa is so not sexy. Except for the boots. I kinda dig those boots.