I received an email from The Exterminator about a blog rating system that is on the website Mingle2. Here's what my blog received:
This rating was determined by the fact that I'd used the following words in my blog:
Hell (6x) Steal (4x) Dead (3x) and Pissed (1x).
Um, Mingle2 people? I think you might have missed a few words. Now, I realize that many people get offended when you use the word steal, but I use the word fuck way the fuck more than I do steal. How come f-u-c-k was omitted from your word list? Doesn't fuck beat out steal in the offensive category? I mean, one of the 10 Commandments even has the word steal in it, but have you ever seen a commandment that states, "Thou shalt not fuck."?
I didn't think so.
Okay, I have to veer off course for a minute and let you guys know that I just opened a package of pre-cut watermelon. And even though I'm always a little leery of pre-cut fruit, I have to say this is some of the best watermelon I've ever eaten. And now I've just noticed that instead of a normal expiration date, they've cleverly put Best if Enjoyed by 6/26/06. Well, I did enjoy it with 3 days to spare. In fact, I enjoyed the f-u-c-k out of it.
Anyway, back to the Mingle squared deal. I've also learned recently that I use the word penis or one of its various euphemisms a lot, and I'm severely disappointed that Mr. Bojangle and the Boys missed the list.
So, person at Mingle2 who came up with the rating system, as proud as I am of my NC-17 status - you might want to rethink your rating system. Or I'll have to steal something dead and then you'll sure as hell be pissed.
No Longer Living in Bumfuck
Well, I've moved to the city. I am no longer in the middle of nowhere. Now I am smack dab in the middle of somewhere. In an apartment no less. Where there are actually other people. And I can be at the store in mere minutes. OH MY GOD. I am finally back in civilization. Now, for those of you who can't fathom why someone would want to live around other people...well, I can't help it. I was born and raised in the city and it's just in my blood.
And just think...I'll have all kinds of apartment living stories now.