April 13, 2007

Wood Eye Wood Eye, Peg Leg Peg Leg

That Jesus Sho' Gets Around

Roberto Colon (I'm sure it's pronounced "cologne") has a footstool. It's a
magic footstool. Kinda like a magic carpet, but you can't fly on it. And it's not a carpet. It's a footstool. But, it has Jesus on it!!! That's why it's so magical.

At least Roberto can see Jesus on his footstool.

I see Chewbacca, myself, but whatever blows your skirt up, Robbie.

What I can't figure out is why J-Dawg would want to show up on something that people prop they're stinky feet on? I guess JC must like the smell of toe cheese or something.

Roberto states that he's probably going to keep the footstool, although he might put it up for sale on eBay. He seems to think he can get anywhere from $100,000 - $500,000 for his footstool.

Well, good luck with that, Mister Delusional.

Stupid is as Stupid Does

Gregory Daniels of Pomono, CA decided the other day that he should steal an entire ATM. Brilliant plan, Mr. Daniels. So, Gregory and an unknown accomplice wrapped a chain around the ATM, hooked the chain to a pickup truck and ripped up the ATM. They then tossed the machine into the back of the truck and sped off with visions of riches beyond their wildest imaginations. And they were probably laughing maniacally. Or maybe singing "We're in the Money" or something like that.

But luck, that fickle little beehotch, had decided to thumb her nose at the fearless duo that day. Police immediately began pursuing the pair, and then Wonderboy Greg turned into a dead end street. Not smart, Greg. Not. Smart. The unknown accomplice was able to run away from the police and he may be running still. He's probably in Oregon by now. Greg, however, wasn't so fortunate. It wasn't for lack of trying, though. He was trying desperately to run away from the police. Struggling. Panting. Cursing. Ruing the day. But you see he couldn't run away, because his prosthetic leg had fallen off.

I guess it's just not easy to hop away from the police, so Greg was caught.

And to add insult to injury, now when Greg has his day in court he won't have a leg to stand on.

Take Care,
Babs - Who loves bad puns with just a hint of tacky.


  1. I guess Jebus is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I behold Dr. Zaius in that thar footstool.
    Ooh, rock me Dr. Zaius. Ooh ooh, rock me Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius. Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius. Oh, oh, oh Dr. Zaius.
    I'm sure the would-be thief lost his fake leg when it tried to kick him in his own ass for being such an idiot.

  2. I don't even see a human in the footstool; I see a Chagall-style goat. That might mean something, because usually in these kinds of Rorschach-y objects, I see breasts and/or pizza toppings. So a goat's a step closer to J.C. because it also has a beard. But, of course, I ain't been saved, so what should I expect?

  3. Anonymous1:27 AM

    snicker! He didn't have a leg to stand on...maybe he could have used a good ol wooden stool and tied it to his stump or something.

  4. I can see Skeletor, from the He-man commics, in the footstool. ...I miss those times when children could see homoerotic cartoons. T'was so cool, all those buffy guys wering thongs and waving swords at each other...

  5. I'm with you honey - definitely Chewbacca.

    Wasn't he from planet atzah??

  6. It's Batman dammit. Am I the only one who sees Batman in the footstool? It seems so obvious.

    Holy hdsoo Batman !

  7. Nothing I still see nothing. IN all the Jesus bespeckled pictures you've shared with us....never seen the diety. I have to go pray about this now.

  8. I see Grizzly Adams...Hmmmm, I wonder if I could spill something, oh, I don't know maybe Guinness, oh, but do I want to waste good Guinness? Oh yeah, spill something on my shitty carpeting, see Jesus in it, post it to eBay for all the delusional idiots in the world who will spend boatloads of money to buy it from me. I'll then have to cut it out and inform Schneider that I need new carpeting because there's a big mother piece missing in the middle of my living room. Or is that too elaborate of a plan just to get new carpeting in the apt.?

  9. I totally laughed at your pun which I'm sure means I'm going to hell for laughing at a man who is missing a limb, even if he is a pathetic criminal.

  10. Kathleen, don't worry - we'll save you a seat.

    Hey...pull my zdthog..

  11. Royce1:49 PM

    I looked and looked (Honest) but the nearest thing I saw to Jesus was a big bad biker,you can make out the front tire, no halo, bushy beard, very intent on...something.

    Maybe the biker stole the prosthetic to use a kick stand. I crack me up.

  12. Personally, I think we're all going to hell. Yeehaw!

    I think it's cool how we all see different things, but Kathleen - Thomas saw Grizzly Adams, too.

    I'm not sure that it means anything. I just thought I should share.