February 1, 2011

Jerkin' Off for Jesus!

Do you know what's happening this coming Sunday?  I'm so excited!  It's PORN SUNDAY! 

I'm sure you're wondering what Porn Sunday is, aren't you?  Well, it's the brain child of Craig Gross who is the dude in charge over at the XXX Church in Dallas.  From what I can tell, Craig loves porn almost as much as he loves Jesus, so he had to start a church about porn addictions.   

I think the following explains how Craig came to start a porn church, and it's really a good how-to guide if you're wanting to start a porn chuch of your own. 

So, on Porn Sunday, there will be over 300 churches across the US that are going to play a simulcast video of some NFL players and Craig talking about porn.  You know what I think?  I think that Craig's fantasy might be to be the middle meat in a big 'ol football team manwich. 

There are even going to be pre-game parties for Porn Sunday.  I'd go to one, but I'm not sure what kind of dip is appropriate to take to a Porn Sunday pre-game party. 

If you can't make it to a pre-game party or church on Porn Sunday, then I think the least you can do is rub one out for Jesus.

Happy Wanking!


  1. HawrHawrHawrHawrHawr You krak me up, dude. I, however, since masturbating since six? seven? don't feel the urge to so much anymore. Now 41. Shhh! Keep it a secret! Thanx --- Nevertheless, I just wanna 'spew my speel' (a good name for a porn flik, ain't it?) Here goes: doesn't matter whether you believe or not, pal, you're STILL gonna croak - we’re all in this together, we’re all doing our lifelong demise; then, while our mortal bodies are recycled after our Finite Existence, our indelible soul rises-up to be judged at the General Judgment. Here’s the point I want you to consider before you leave this world: sex in Heaven. Why not?? Can’t God provide everything? The Trinity is just as happy you made it to the realm where we can have anything we desire for eternity rather than the realm where we can have absolutely nuthin; if Almighty God provides everything else, why not passionate, intimate love make’n or a quickie for the length of eternity? Besides worship on ‘Sunday’, dunno bout you, but I want that. See, God knew the ol El Diablo would lie like a rug and trick U.S. into believing love make’n wouldn’t be possible in Heaven, so why not git a buncha ho’s and condemn yourself? Lookit Eminem. ‘Sex is just for earth’ you say? WRONG. If you have the desire, anything and everything is possible in the Great Beyond. So, dream big, America. God loves that. God loves U.S. to ‘pull Him down outta the sky’ and fantasize about where we’re going. God can and will provide if we have a seed of faith. God will water. I have faith in you, too. God bless you with discernment. -1 Peter 4:8-

  2. I'm really not sure what you're trying to say, but thanks for commenting!