March 31, 2011

March Comes In Like a Lion, Blows Out Like a Lamb

Hi kids!  It's me again.  Here for what is turning out to be my monthly blog post.  It seems like my monthly posts are going to be about blowjobs.  There are worse subjects, I suppose.  I'm a horrible person for not blogging more and probably should be punished. 

You know who else should be punished?  Pastor John Naylor.  A fine upstanding man of god.  But, he'd probably like his punishment...especially if he could pay you for it.  

Pastor John Naylor was arrested for paying for an 8-minute, 20 dollar blowjob. It seems John went out cruising for a little sucky after visiting someone in the hospital.  That's just like Jesus used to do.  Heal the sick, get a blow job.  Make the blind man see, demand a hummer as payment.  And if Jesus H. Christ raised someone from the dead, the newly minted zombie had to give Jesus a blowjob and hand wash all of his delicates.  

But back to 8-minute John.  Hey...he's a john named John! Anyway...

John didn't realize that the police were watching him as he picked up the prostitute and drove to a house. Eight minutes later he and the prostitute exited the house. John had a huge smile on his face, and the prostitute was shoving massive amounts of Wrigley's Spearmint gum into her mouth.  Rumor also has it that he paid the prostitute an extra 20 bucks to stay in the house 6 minutes longer than necessary just so he didn't look like a freak.  The funniest part is that the police had no proof that he'd paid her for a blow job. John admitted that not only had he received a blow job that night, but that he'd paid hookers several times before.  

Ah...confession is so goddamn good for the soul.  

Big hugs,
I would have charged WAY more than 20 beans.

1 comment:

  1. All over this weird beautifull planet, people are shocked by the number of catholic priests, or whatever their function is, who are involved in absurd sexuall crimes. What shall we do? Throw them in jail? Lethal injections? Against the wall? Maybe.
    But then. What to do to prevent future crimes? It's time that the catholic church admits that people who are deprived from deep human longings, like sex, turn into frustrated dangerous creatures.
    It's in Rome where we'll find the cure to end to all this pain and suffering. Stop celibat immediatly! Rather today than tomorrow.