Yes, it's been awhile. I've been a busy girl. Last month I moved in with Eric the Bastard. I think the popular kids are calling living together "domestic partnership" now. I prefer either "living in sin" or "shacking up". "Shacking up" sounds especially white trashy doesn't it? After getting everything moved, I was forced to celebrate Christmas and New Year's. Throw in a hurt shoulder from moving a 986 pound desk down a flight of stairs, and then a week and a half of puking and I haven't really felt like blogging.
To kick things off for 2011, I'm bringing you a story of depravity, debauchery and maybe a little dickerydoo. The director of the Missouri Baptist Convention, Dr. David Tolliver, has resigned from his position due to "immoral behavior with a woman". Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find any information on what the "immoral behavior" was. What the hell kind of reporting is that, news people? I want to know exactly what Dave did with this woman. I want details. I want graphs and charts. I want photos. Did they do it? Did he just feel her up a little after Sunday School? Did he just waggle his dick at her? Was she even really a woman? Maybe he just popped a boner while feasting on the Chicken Surprise Casserole she brought to the after church fellowship.
Whatever it was, I'm sure it was all Satan's fault. And, after seeing a pic of Dave, I've changed my mind about needing photos.