OH! OH! OH GOD! YES! YES! YES!

Carlos Bebeacua is Spanish, but lives in Sweden.  He's Speden.  He is the self-appointed cardinal of his own church, Madonna of the Orgasm.  I'm not making that up.  That's really his church's name and they worship orgasms.  Carlos was trying to get his church recognized as an official faith, but Swedish judges said no to the O. 

Poor Carlos. 

Why does he have a church that worships the orgasm?  Because according to Carlos orgasm = god and should be worshiped.  Why not?  At least it's something tangible and orgasms have done way, way, way more for me than any god ever has.  Carlos believes that orgasms shouldn't be limited to ejaculation.  He thinks that, "You can reach it through art or by looking at a landscape and thinking 'Wow!'"

This only makes me think of one thing.  Double rainbow dude. 


Just so you know that Carlos isn't a figment of my imagination, you can read the story here. 

Great big Os,
Babs

Mad Dog vs. Obama

For the most part I'm okay with where I live.  It may not be my number one choice, hell, it's not even in my top 10 choices, but I know I'm here for a few more years and I'm okay with that.  Most of the time.  I live in a college town so we tend to be a little more open minded than most other places in this state.  At least I thought we were.  Our local alternative paper, of which I am quite fond, tried running Savage Love last week and you'd have thought they posted a manual on how to rape and sacrifice small children, which is totally ridiculous.  They don't publish the rape/sacrifice special until October.  People were quite uptight about the column and made it clear that "porn" had no place in the paper. 

But that's not really what this post is about.  That was just a warm-up to show just how amazing Arkansas can be.  And by "amazing" I mean "goddamn backwards". 

Captain Woody and I were cruising down one of the fine highways in our fine state this weekend and we came upon this: 

And next to this very patriotic display was this...

I have no idea who these awesome vehicles belong to, so I'm just going to call him Fucktard Jimmy.  Wait.  He's obviously from the south, so I should call him Fucktard Jimmy Lee "Mad Dog"  Prideaux.  I'm sure that Jimmy pronounces his last name pry-ducks, lest anyone mistake him for one of those prissy French fuckers.   

Anyway, Mad Dog, I just wanted to let you know how thrilled I am that you are exercising your freedom of speech and reminding all of the visitors to Arkansas who pass by your most genteel display just why we're still the butt of so many jokes. 

Thanks a lot limp dick!

Love,

Babs

Big, Huge, Fucking Announcement!

Okay, maybe it's not that big of an announcement, but I got your attention didn't I?

Coming soon: Pics of Babs in action. Probably not 'bow chicka bow wow' action, but you never know!

Lots of love,
Babs

Gimme a D!

Pastor Donald Crosby may be just a bit of a drama queen. After being arrested for illegally protesting at a Warner Robins school, Donnie stated that "I don't scare easily. Lock me up as many times as you have to lock me up. Even kill me if you have to. I'm standing up for Jesus."

I really don't think the police are going to kill you, Donnie. Of course, you do live in Georgia, so who knows what could happen.

Donnie is upset that the school's mascot is a demon so he thought a protest was in order. The only problem with the protest was that Donnie didn't acquire a permit to protest. And even after the police asked him several times to leave the school property and go get a permit, Donnie refused. So, he was arrested. Now, Donnie wants us all to think that he was arrested for "standing up for Jesus", but that's just not true.

Yo, Donnie! You were arrested for not having a permit. You weren't arrested because you voiced your opinion about how the demon mascot is evil and probably makes the kids want to do things like listen to rock music and touch each other in their naughty spots. You aren't a martyr. You're a fuckwit. And your shirt is ugly.

And, the sign one of your protestors was holding up that read, "Home games will have to be played in hell." - Well, no fucking shit, dude. Once again, YOU LIVE IN GEORGIA!

And, your shirt is still ugly.

Big demonic kisses,

Babs

Here's the story.

Church Sign O' the Week

It's been a long time since I've posted a church sign, but I think this one was worth the wait. I don't even have to comment on it. The sign says it all. Thank you, Church Sign Guy. I still love you more than life itself.


Great big orgasms from Jesus,
Babs

Not Your Mother's Sears

Tim Wildmon, Chief Twatwaffle of the American Family Association, is at it again. This time he has his knickers in a knot because Sears sells posters with naked women on them. How pissed is he?

Pissed enough that he took the time to place the posters on the AFA website. Of course, he blurred out the model's naughty bits so as to not cause our eyes to burst into flames the minute we laid eyes on a pair of bare boobies.

Here's what Tim had to say about the posters, "These aren't just posters of scantily-clad women. Some of them depict groups of people, lesbians and others engaged in ***ual activities. Very little is left to the imagination."

Do you think Tim always speaks in asterisks?

I'm sure that his whole deal with putting the posters on the AFA website was explained away as research. I mean, Jesus himself probably told Tim to look at the posters of nude women and then rub his mouse around and around and around their girl parts to blur them out. He probably even had to do it several times to make sure he got it right. It's a good thing you can use the blur tool in Photoshop with just one hand, huh?

From now on, research=wank time!

What I want to know is...how did Tim find these pics anyway? Hmmmm....

Here is the original story.

Big naked hugs!
Babs

To Gay or Not to Gay

Tom Brock is a Lutheran pastor in Minnesota. Does anybody else always hear the word "Minnesota" said with a Minnesotan accent?

Me, too. And then I have a complete conversation going on in my head between two Minnesotans. One of them is ALWAYS named Tom, and they're always getting ready to go have some beers.

Am I starting to sound a bit nuts? I am, aren't I? Welcome to my head, kids. It's a circus of crazy in here!

Speaking of nuts, let's get back to Tom. He recently told the AP that even though he's sexually attracted to men, that since he's never actually had his peepee in another man nor has he had another man's peepee in him, then he isn't gay.

He may or may not have actually used the term 'peepee'. He also may or may not actually know the meaning of the word 'gay'.

Tom is reportedly a memeber of a support group for Christians who struggle with same sex attraction. Um, to be more accurate, I really think the support group should be classified as people with same sex attractions who struggle with being a Christian. After all, one is perfectly natural and the other is contrived, at best, and requires vast stretches of the imagaination. Not to mention worshiping a man-god who wants you to eat his flesh and drink his blood.

Tom also had this to say about the gay, "I think we're all born heterosexual actually, and then stuff goes wrong,"

I think it's obvious from the phrase "stuff goes wrong" that Tom is not only a man of god, but he's also highly scientific. I'm talkin' through the roof scientific.

He also believes that anyone who engages in homosexuality is going to go to hell. Do you know what this means? It means that all of you gays and lesbians are going to have such an easy time getting laid in hell.

I'm not sure it's fair.

And, Tom? Dude. You're like totally gay.

Much love,
Babs

You can check out the full story here.