July 24, 2007

Let's Get Ready to Rumble.

Desperately Seeking

It's that time again, kids. Another list of strange searches that have somehow led people to Flumadiddle Land.

  • Jesus saves wallpaper - That Jesus is such a packrat. Seriously, he saves everything...wallpaper, hair from the sink drain, the plastic ring thingy from the milk jug. I think he's using the stuff to build a Jesus android in his basement. A really creepy Jesus android.

  • Describe my husband's penis - I'm going to go with a one-word description: Hamsteresque.

  • Crucifixion with nails BDSM - Christ on a stick! Are you kidding me? I knew there were some people with a few extra kink genes, but seriously. Crucifixion? Um. OUCH! I'll bet these people use something like "Jesus Christ, that fucking hurts" for their safe word.

  • Saggy knees, Mothernature - Mothernature is a dirty, dirty whore.

  • Are dead squirrels dangerous? -Um hello? Zombie squirrels! Haven't you heard of zombie squirrels? You know all those unexplained shin maimings you read about in the paper? Zombie squirrels. They're like totally mean little bastards.

  • Video of boar copulating - Okay. I know my memory isn't what it used to be, but have I ever posted a video of swine mating? 'Cause I don't remember that, and I'm pretty sure that would be something that would stick in my mind.

Nooner, Anyone?

Since I obviously talk about penises a lot on here, I would be remiss in passing up this story. And I can't go around being remiss. It's so unattractive.

Bostonians driving down Route 1 were in for a treat yesterday.

Instead of the usual boring "Construction ahead" or "Caution. Men Working" sign, they were greeted with something a little more to do with "southbound traffic".

Someone, who I'm pretty sure had to be around 15 or so, hacked into the computer program and changed the sign to read, "Penis for Lunch."

And really, what better lunch can you have than penis with a side salad?

Church Sign O' the Week

"This Sunday. Are you ready to rumble?"

Oh Church Sign Guy! I knew you were a wrestling fan. I just knew it. But who is doing the rumbling? Do you have tag-team preachers, or do you just let the congregation beat the shit outta the organist? On a side note, is it just me or do the words organist and pianist both sound a little dirty?

By the way, my beloved sign guy, I wouldn't watch wrestling for anything. In fact, I'd watch re-runs of Walker, Texas Ranger, until my eyes were bleeding before I'd watch wrestling. Hell, I'd watch The 700 Club before I'd watch wrestling. But I don't want you to think for one minute that this teensy-tiny difference between us will dampen my love for you, Church Sign Guy.

Oh no. You rock me harder than a Hanson concert.

Take Care,

The Bablatrice - who thinks Zombie Squirrels would make for a totally wicked band name.


  1. For my money, you just can't beat a good video of some Zombie squirrels eating the loser of an all night Boar copulating session.

    Where is the copy on that?

    Ben O.

  2. Omg HAH! I get boring ones like "Rhythm is a dance 1993" and "chain letters for moms". OH and one "sunshine girl CLAUDIA" and "hot hot hot moms"

    a few months ago there was one that had "man caught wearing moms underwear" and that one had me scratching my head.

  3. Zombie Squirrels is a most excellent name for a band.

    What a stupid sign. Does Church Sign Guy have an original thought in his head???

    Sorry...little cranky today.

  4. I must be a retardo....I don't even know how to find who stops by. dur!

  5. I'm with Kats. Church Sign Guy's a twit. Sorry to dis your bud, Babs.

    This post was a gem. I laughed out loud a few times. Apartment life has put you in fine comedic form!

    give it a tuwgsg for me...

  6. Ben O. - Oh Ben O. Sorry I just had to do that. Anyway, I think the copy is under lock and key in a trailer in the deep-woods of Alabama. Good luck getting it.

    Claudia - But you ARE a sunshine girl. I guess my blog content is just sick.

    Kathleen - Nope. Church Sign Guy most definitely has a few snyapses that refuse to fire. However, he's built like a brick shit house.

    Carla - You could never be a retardo. You have to have some type of page counter. I personally use Stat Counter and it gives me a list of all the kooky things people have searched for that have caused them to land at my blog. The best part is...it's free!

    Fwig - Thanks! I have to say that apartment life is really starting to fit me. I'm not sure about this particular apartment complex, because it's rather boring, but I'm definitely liking things right now.