November 19, 2010

Hug Me

Have you recently had a pet that crossed Rainbow Bridge and is now in that big pet park in the sky?  Do you wish you could still wrap your arms around your pet and give him or her a great big hug?  Well, wish no more.  In just five easy steps, you can have your arms wrapped around Fifi Fluffydoodle lickityfuckinsplit!   

1.  Have your pet cremated.  This may require some digging and a really big bonfire if you already went with a conventional burial. 

2.  Go over to and order one of their pet pillows with the special ash pouch. 

3.  Tuck the plastic bag of pet ashes into the pouch. 

4.  Put the special ash pouch inside your pillow. 

5.  Hug the life out of your pet!  Well, I guess that's not possible, but you can hug really, super duper hard. 

One of the many, many totally groovy things about the pet pillow is that it will accommodate a wide variety of pets: rats, birds, ferrets, rabbits, reptiles, dogs, cats, weasels, skunks, armadillos, lemurs - anything up to 150 pounds.  That's 150 lbs before cremation, so your pet Sasquatch's ashes won't fit.  Your pet pillow also comes in three neutral colors that are sure to match your decor, as long as you decor is creepy enough to include a pillow with your pet's ashes stuffed inside it. 

But the best part about the pet pillow? You can get one for as low as $110.  That's right!  Only 110 measely stinkin' American dollars. I know at first that may seem like a lot of money for a throw pillow, but it has a special ash pouch!  A pouch that holds pet ashes!  Of course, you could just buy the pouch for 10 bucks and shove it in a throw pillow you already have, but I don't think it would be as magical or huggable. 

What are you waiting for?  Go order your pet pillow now!

Great big non-ashy hugs,

Disclaimer:  Neither Flumaiddle, Inc., its affiliates, associates or asshats have an affiliation with Soft-Hearted Products, nor does Flumadiddle, Inc., its affiliates, associates or asshats even have a soft heart.

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