July 16, 2008

She's Alive

Just wanted to say thank you to all of your for the emails and messages. Yes, I made it back from vacation and we had an awesome time. Seriously awesome. I kissed a dolphin. Did you hear me people. I KISSED A DOLPHIN!

Here's a pic to prove it.

I also swam with this same dolphin.

See that goofy grin I had on my face? It was pretty much there the whole time I was with the dolphin. Yeah. I looked like a total dork through the entire thing.

Discovery Cove was fantastic, Sea World was fantastic, the beach was fantastic! You know the only thing that wasn't fantastic? The drivers in Orlando. Those people are crazy. Completely insane. There are absolutely no driving rules there. None. You just do pretty much whatever you want. The bad thing is, I'm back home and still driving like I'm in Orlando. Yay for driving like a maniac!

Anyway, I really appreciate everyone giving me their input on where I should live. I think I'm going to be here for awhile, afterall. Yes, there is a reason for such a thing and I'd love to tell you all about it, but I can't. It's a secret. A super duper, wonderfully amazing secret.

And with that, I'll quit rambling and say "good night".

Take Care,


  1. Ohhh honey, I'm just glad you're back. Cyberspace just isn't the same without your snark.


  2. HAHAHA! Dork! Just kid'n! I once sat on the bow of a swift-moving sailboat while dolphins lept along beside us. That was great. I can't even imagine kissing one. Honestly I don't think I'd even have the 'nads to do that. Kudos to you.

    So glad you're back! I'm glad you've got plans and secrets. Excellent! And so do I! I've decided where I'm moving to next and it'll probably take a lot of my pals by surprise!

  3. Well, you must have read my mind because I was just about to send you a note insisting that you come out from your hidey-hole.

    One thing, though: I've looked at the pictures, and I'm not sure. Which one is you? In that second photo, it looks like both creatures are smiling.

    I guess if we had a sound recording we'd know for sure. The dolphin is the one saying, "Eeeee eeeee eeeee." You're the one saying, "fuck, this is fun."

  4. Anonymous6:05 PM

    Welcome back! The dolphin pics are great. I'm dying to know: was the dolphin a good kisser?

  5. (((Billy)))10:09 AM

    Welcome back. My inlaws retired just north of Orlando. They are annoyed that enough New Englanders and New Yorkers have joined them down there that the traffic resembles NYC or Boston (or, even worse, Providence).

    Neat photos. I know you had fun. Did you make sure the dolphin had fun, too?

  6. YEAHHHH, you're back and I LOVE the goofy grin. Glad you are back amongst us again and glad you're back from PoorLando.

  7. Anonymous1:39 AM

    aweshum... just aweshum. I love the smoochie woochie with the cute widdle dolphin~

    Sigh, cool cool water...

  8. I swam with a turtle once. The dolphin looks more cool, but I still loved it.

    Speaking of "love", does that have anything to do with the "secret"? Inquiring minds...

  9. I'll take that as a "yes".

  10. Doc B - Smooches back atcha. I've missed being around.

    Fwig - Kissing the dolphin wasn't scary at all. I can't wait to hear where you're moving. Please say Arkansas, 'cause that'd like rock and stuff.

    Ex - Thank you so much for the compliment. I've always secretly wished I looked like Flipper. But you did nail exactly what I was thinking while swimming with the dolphin. Fuck! It was fun.

    Chappy - She was an awesome kisser.

    Billy - Orlando traffic really does suck ass. The dolphin had an amazing time. So much that she kept begging for my phone number. The little hussy.

    Carla - Thank you so much. I'm going to try and be better about blogging, but I've been kinda busy lately. I sure have missed you.

    Claudia - It really was awesome. It's hard to put into words what it was like. Fuckin' great.

    Evo - I love sea turtles, and think it would be amazing to swim with one. As far as your other comment - how about you kiss my ass, okay? I'm so funny. Now to answer your question: It could be love. It could be that I'm on some secret mission here in Arkansas trying to rid this area of inbreds.

    Which one do you think is more plausible?

    To all of you: I've missed you guys. I know I've been a terrible blogger lately. What can I say? I'm a busy woman. But I have missed each and every one of you very, very much.

  11. Those are kickass pictures! I would have been smiling the whole time, too! I swam with sting rays and kissed them, so I understand the awesomeness of kissing marine life. After the first few sting rays, I learned how to catch them myself and it was just about the coolest thing in my life (right up there with climbing pyramids in Mexico and going inside Egyptian pyramids.

    So glad you're back. I've missed your funny, snarky posts.

  12. (((Billy)))9:22 AM

    Evo: Do snapping turtles count? I once (accidentally) skinny-dipped with one.

  13. Billy: Did you both hide in your shells?

    Okay - I'm taking a poll. Who really believes she's still alive?

  14. Anonymous10:38 PM

    FWG: I won't believe she's alive until she writes another snarky post.

  15. Hopefully you are too busy getting laid to write. However, I hope you take a break to replentish your fluids and come back to us.

    P.S. Please don't don't start fucking dolphins. Sure the bottle nose has a million uses, but as a woman, it's your job to have the best blowhole in the relationship.

    P.P.S. I'm also alive. Spread the word nation-wide.

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  17. @ Fantasy Writer Guy - either the secret lover is a psycho killer, or the dolphin ate her for dinner.

    Which one do you think is more plausible?

    I'd kiss her ass, if she were just still alive....