September 26, 2006

A Nun, George Bush and a Spider Walk Into a Bar

I heard one of the most inane things the other day. When you call Visa and try to speak to a real person, while you're on hold this recorded voice comes on and says, "Please do not hang up as this will further delay your call". What? What's that??? You mean that if I HANG UP the phone, I won't get through faster than if I don't hang up the phone? What kinda crazy talk is that? Have we as a society become so moronic that we really need someone to tell us that if we hang up the phone it will further delay our call?

Hold the phone.

I just remembered that the majority of the country voted for George Bush.

Twice.

So, yeah, we probably need recordings like this.

In other news of the strange, my husband got to hear me scream like a girl for the first time the other day. I had just finished my shower and grabbed a towel and started to put it on my head and there was this BIG, HUGE spider on it. Did you hear me? I almost wrapped a spider around my head! A BIG, HUGE spider. And, it was almost on my head!!! It was the kind of spider that was SO BIG it makes noise when it walks.

My girl scream is unlike anything I can reproduce unless I'm completely freaked out. I wish I could reproduce it at will, because it was one noise that came from my mouth that made my husband trip over stuff trying to get to me. The only other time that's happened was when I jokingly mentioned that I'd be willing to try that kinky fantasy he has that involves Spam, hula hoops, a porch swing and him being dressed as a nun.

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