June 5, 2008


Here's a quick update on what's been going on in my life.

1. Work is driving me crazy.
2. I'm not dating anymore.
3. We're having a pirate party at the office night and I'm wearing a somewhat slutty costume. I'm also planning on calling everyone "scurvy dogs" all night. Arrgh!
4. I've started working out. As in weight training, and my trainer is this guy named Thomas. You know - I used to be married to him and his penis. I'm pretty sure he's getting me back for all the times I mentioned his penis on my blog, because he really digs it when I'm in pain.
5. I've stopped smoking, or at least paused - I'm not sure which, yet. Hopefully stopped.
6. Work is driving me crazy.
7. I'm going on a 10-day trip to Florida and I'm taking my daughter and her best friend. We leave the 20th of this month. I can't wait.
8. Work is driving me so crazy that I want to just say, "fuck it" and walk out the door.
9. I'm eating healthy food.
10. If I am to believe my spam folder, I've been picked at least 429 times to be a mystery shopper.
11. I've come across a bunch of goofy ass news pieces that I want to write about, but I don't have the brain power.
12. The vacation I'm taking is my first real vacation in 4 years. Four years and no vacation. No wonder I'm going nuts.
13. I miss you guys.

Take Care,


  1. Well, we miss you, too. Of course, we probably keep running into you when we go shopping -- but since you're disguised, we don't recognize you. Come to think of it, though: I have seen a lot of pirates in WalMart lately.

  2. Anonymous1:43 PM

    We miss you too, I do, for 100% sure miss you. Enjoy your getaway, you deserve it!

  3. What an experience to wear those.
    Natur Line Sex

  4. Enjoy the holiday!

    Oh, by the way, seems there's some kind of party happening in Florida at the moment. Maybe you could stop in and check it out for us. :-P

  5. Anonymous9:56 PM

    Glad you came up for air. Enjoy your vacation. Look forward to seeing more posts from you soon.

  6. We miss you too. By the way, don't mention "healthy food" and "spam" in successive sentences.

  7. ...of course you ROCK at every level. Have fun, lifes way to
    f-u-c-k-i-n short.

  8. I hope you have a great trip! Beware of owl puke while you're there.

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  10. Howdy mystery shopper!

    Delighted to hear that you've STOPPED smoking!

    Jeepers. I too am on vacation for 10 days starting the 20th. And suddenly I'm wanting to go to Florida. I have a couple dear friends there and I absolutely love Ybor City, Tampa. The only place where you can eat a fine meal and smoke a cigar! God - I'd love to go. If only I hadn't already made a bunch of stupid plans already...

  11. Ex - I should post my pirate pic for you. It's quite amusing. Someone told me I looked like an escaped animatron from a Disney theme park. Quite flattering, I thought.

    Claudia - Awww...thanks. You're so sweet.

    Natur Line Sex- You cannot believe what an experience it is! OH MY GOD! It's awesome.

    Heather - I'm sure that party would have welcomed this sinner with open arms.

    Chappy - Thank you!

    Evo - C'mon - don't you want a big Spam salad right now? Yummy!

    Carla - You're absolutely right - life it too fuckin' short, and I'm ready to have some fun.

    OG - Oh my. That's quite disturbing, but I have the urge to buy that book and start investigating owl puke.

    Fwig - Well, it's been 13 days without a smoke, and I think I really have stopped.

    I would have LOVED for you to come to Florida. I would have even given you free room and board. Of course, you'd have to put up with me and two 18 year olds. And one of those 18 year olds is exactly like me.

    Have fun on your vacation!

  12. I've definitely missed you, and now I've really missed you since you leave today for FLA! I hope you have a great time and really enjoy your vacation.