May 31, 2009

Shameless Plugs and Clowns

For Christ's Sake, Quit Clownin' Around

John Claussen is a pastor in the fine city of Des Moines, and he thinks that maybe people are getting bored with his sermons. I'm betting John's assumption is correct. But no worries, because this summer John is taking Sunday morning to a new level. A level of epic proportions. And how is he doing this? By dressing up as a clown. As in, he's going to be dressed as a clown while he preaches.

Holy flaming pulpits, Batman!

A preaching clown = scarier than anything I could have even imagined. Ever. Especially when you throw in that his 'clown name' is Leviticus W. Doorknocker, which to me sounds like some totally pervy Amish dude.

Anywho, John's not stopping with clowns. No way, Jose. John's going to have a different theme every Sunday. Like Cowboy Sunday and Uniform Sunday and Billy Bob's Barnyard Bible School.

Kinky, John. I love it! In fact, I love it so much that I have a few more theme ideas for you along with the corresponding sermon titles. It's just my little contribution to the Lord's work.

  • Pirate Sunday - Ya Scurvy Dogs are Walkin' the Plank Straight to Hell
  • Sci-Fi Sunday - God's Ray Gun is Bigger Than Yours
  • Mardi Gras Sunday - For the Love of God, Show Me Your Tits
  • Luau Sunday - Jesus Leied Down His Life For You
  • Fiesta Sunday - Donde Estan Mis Pantalones? (I realize this doesn't have anything to do with Jesus, but it's the only Spanish I know.) WAIT. I've got it. Donde Estan Mis Pantalones, Jesus?
  • Ships Ahoy Sunday - Jesus Loves You No Matter How Nautical You've Been

You're welcome, John. You are welcome.

Zazzle Me

The first round of t-shirts are up on Zazzle and they're ready to buy. You can get them here.


Flumadiddle is now on Facebook and you can become a fan. Doing so will keep you updated on the Flumadiddle swag that's available and you'll also be in the know as to when I update the blog. Becoming a fan will also save your soul.

It's the least I could do.

Hugs and Kisses,


May 26, 2009

She's Back!

Oh The Bitch Is Back

Okay, kids. I've decided to bring back Flumadiddle! Woohoo!

The reason I abandoned my precious Flumadiddle to begin with was because of my job. Now that, that small detail has been so graciously taken care of by my former employer in the form of me getting fired, I can be out and proud. a godless heathen, that is. I was concerned that my blog would be seen by clients and they'd be offended and so on and so forth. Well, I can say 'fuck it' now and be the adorable little reprobate that you all know and love. Or possibly just tolerate.

I will be bringing back Church Sign O' the Week and That Jesus Sho' Gets Around. I might even make a video or two. In other exciting news, I am working on some Flumadiddle original t-shirt and bumper sticker designs! I am sure you're as thrilled as I am. If so, you're seriously about to piss yourself right now.

What the fuck. Let's start with a Jesus sighting right now.

That Jesus Sho' Gets Around

Who's the cheesiest? Or maybe it should be the Jeesiest? It's Jesus and he's been found in a bag of Cheetos. That Jesus sure does like his snacks, and you know why? 'Cause he's totally baked all the time. And, damn can Jesus get the good shit.

Anyway, Dan and Sarah Bell of Dallas, TX are the lucky duo who found the Jesus Cheeto. Not only are they a lucky duo, but they're also a very clever duo and they've named their Jesus Cheeto 'Cheesus'.


Well, thanks for stealing my joke Dan and Sarah. Now what the hell am I supposed to do with the Jesus Cheeto?

I know! A picture. I don't know if it's just me, but when I look at that I don't see Jesus. You wanna know what I see?

Some people see Jesus, I see a vibrator. Who would have guessed that one?

Until next time...

Take Care,
Babs - Less filling. Tastes great!